eve has raised some very interesting and valid points on this topic. I feel its my duty to jump in here and defend Adam and his post emotional trauma (P.E.T.).
The Start
This is the point at which I met Adam.
Funnily enough it was in a kitchen (of sorts), and there was cooking involved.
* At this point I feel obliged to point out that at no point have I contemplated procreation with Adam, his mention of kitchen work and naughties was merely a symptom of P.E.T.
Eventually one thing led to another and we comparing notes on the magic green pants of young girls (its ok we were young then..). Why green pants I hear you ask.. lets get this straight.. not green pants, magic green pants, these pants could make almost any arse look good. You’ll notice the emphasis on magic, green was just the colour of the uniform.
I’ve managed to get myself lost now, so I’ll move on to..
The Middle
This is the point at which Adam discovered that you can combine girls and alcohol.
Include green pants and things get very messy.
I have fond memories of tell the boss he was a cock spank, and not giving a rats arse. Thanks Two Dogs, you are the best drink in the world… ooo that reminds me Orange Two Dogs, the lucky drink, I should tell that story one day!
This continued on for quite some time, then we got to The End of The Middle…
This is when Adam added the internet to the equation.
Now reading this bolg you would have seen some of the results of alcohol, Adam and the internet.
But one such time many moons ago result in Adam jumping on a plain to go “visit” someone. Then promptly Calling Matt and I asking for Advice on how to chew his arm off in the morning without waking the other party.
My suggestions of waving his arms in the air, screaming and running away, rather then going home with her were not as well received as I thought they would be, I can’t imagine why I found the whole situation more amusing than he did.
The Now
The people and locations have changed but the story is the same.
Adam meets girl,
Adam gets drunk,
Adam talks himself into thinking this girls is the greatest thing since sliced bread,
Adam gets a bit drunker,
Adam realises that she’s on of the Bar Staff and is promptly escorted from the “gentleman’s club”
Adam calls someone,
someone hangs up on Adam,
Adam gets a bit drunker…..
This cycle continues day in day out, with only the Girl and the “gentleman’s club” changing, until eventually
Adam falls in love, with neither the bouncer or the Bar Staff, but the new girl (N.G.)
N.G. replaces Bar Stuff as the best thing since sliced bread
Adam promptly cooks N.G. some bread
Adam even slices it…
Adam and N.G. are happy, and Adams drunken contact with his mates asking for advice on extracting ones self from a strange bed become virtually non existent
…insert indefinite time period here…
Something goes pear shaped and the relationship ends.
Why I have proceeded to go through this step by step is beyond me…. I could have summed it up much quicker..
Adam meets girl
Adam shags girl (prattles on about soul mates bla bla bla)
Adam and girl split (sometimes amicably other times its very messy)
Adam is bummed….
Everything about his behavior so far is normal,
except for the Barbie doll thing,
that shits all fucked up…
In case the Ladies are interested, P.E.T. is normal, and can be solved by the following:
* an assortment of casual stabs (the kind where you don’t have to make breakfast),
* some no respect sex (the kind where you don’t have to say anything, and are expected to leave immediately following the act, unless you plan on repeating the 7 second death roll multiple times)
If neither of the above are available, porn is left to fill the void the suffer’s otherwise meaningless life.
wonton Uncategorized sex and love
