Ok, lets start here…
Now… Matt and the old lady incident….
Hmmm perhaps I’ll backtrack a bit.
I have been friends with Matt for a very long time now. I don’t know how many years, quite honestly I prefer to measure it in beers, so quite a long time. And in his infinite kindness he used to come pick me up and drive me home lots… the fact that he only lived around the corner was very helpful. He’s a very lovely man and if I were one of them queer types I probably still wouldn’t pork him, but that’s really no reflection on his niceness.
Side note for Matt…. the romantic bath thing? what the fuck is up with that? I can’t compete! Sure I’m doing ok at pulling charm out my arse but you go and raise the bar like that! *falls to his knees rocking and muttering “must find most romantic thing in the world..”* I think that next time we are out it’s your round…. men around the world are ready to kill you…..
So we were cruising round with the boys (not uncommon in the hood), scoping for bitches. Well ok we were going to the shop cause it was pd’s 21st and none of us had got him a present, but the chicks were flocking around us, we had to beat them off with sticks… honest *scratches nuts & coughs*. After much driving and taking the piss out of pd (how many assholes do we have in this car anyway?) we spot it…. the car park.
“There Matt, there!!” was the cry emanating from the mighty silver lancer… “But there’s an old lady waiting for that one….” was Matts reply… followed by a brief silence…… “Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt,
Matt… (oh you get the picture) …, Matt”. Matt promptly planted his foot on the right hand pedal, and drove straight into the spot. He bent to the will of his mates, we were very proud and impressed… we had a car park right near the door for the centre. What followed however was wrong.
Through tears, and cries of laughter we notice and old lady bashing on Matts window… “I was waiting for that… I’ve been waiting there for ages!” Its at this point that I wish I could draw you a picture…. hmmmm brb.
Ok here is the picture…
Now you’ll notice the indicators on the old ladies car….
Matts reply to the old lady was “I didn’t see you indicating”….
Pretty fair comment…. of course we’ll just ignore the fact that we had passed her sever times before Matt stole her spot…
wonton Uncategorized rants
