sciron.org/blog

Ok so Adam has been driving me nuts to post for the past few weeks and frankly I’ve had enough, so here you go. The definitive guide to how irritating Adam can be :

1) When he burps into the phone, highly gross. On many levels I applaud this, but when he’s been drinking his disgusting Bundaberg rum it’s just gurgly and repulsive. He knows I hate it yet continues to do it. Although maybe it’s just jealousy because he commonly scores over 5 on Eve’s burp-o-meter

2) The fact that he drinks rum and cola, you f t right into that little town you live in honey.

3) How there’s certain things that he knows are sore points with me yet he continues to tease the fuck out of me over them. So I get all worked up and pissed off. And I hear silence and ” I went fishing and got me an Eve-fish”. Then I want to beat him up.

4) That there’s a strong possibility of him moving to Sydney in the future. Oh good god.

5) That he fell for my relief reception girl, who is a whore. He lives to complicate shit.

6) His ability to talk all.the.damned.time. We were discussing phone bills the other day, they tend to be high. Yet when we worked out the ratio I generally speak for 5% of the time.

7) His arrogance that he can call me whenever he wants. Which technically he can and will, but on drunken nights when he calls me on the hour every hour. It’s actually an interesting graph to see plotted out. Adam at drink 1, Adam at drink 5.

His ability to get over stuff so easily. Now don’t think he’s the typical boy who doesn’t get emotionally involved with anything, or that his lag time is the same for all problems. My dead grandmother could move quicker on some things than Adam. But when I’ll bring stuff up or ask about something the typical response is ” Oh I was over that since I put the phone down.”

9) His insult of tableland hippie-chick. One, I’ve never lived on any tablelands. Two, it’s my father who’s the hippie. Three, I don’t like rodents, I’m just not freaked out by the general stuff girls usually are. Though I will give him the fact that I roll the best joint ever, though I never smoke them.

10) The fact that he knows me too well and can read me like an open book. Drives me nuts, if I say I’m going to do something but do something different he’ll say ” I knew you’d do that” and back it up.

11) I know him too well, I know how often he masturbates, what he’s had to eat today, what things I need to remind him to do, what he should and shouldn’t do and which girls he’s attracted to who are guarantee to fuck with his head at every possible opportunity.

Now because I told Adam that there would be something nice at the end to soften the blow. So here it is, all the reasons listed above is also the list for what I like about him. He’s intensely funny, he has this laugh that is infectious, he’s a good honest person, he’s intensely loyal to people that he cares about and he makes mistakes but eventually makes sure they don’t happen again. Except with blondes, that’s a habit he’s never going to kick.

Sidenote – To all the girls that Adam knows who reads this be careful of Dan who’ll be up for the weekend. He’s gorgeous, cheeky and from what I hear fantastic in bed. Most importantly he’s a friend of Adams, make him feel welcome, real welcome.
Also to Wonton, puh-lease give us more details of your mystery girl. You’re killing me here, who is she? How do you know her? What happened to the boyfriend? Since I can’t watch Passions and Bold & the Beautiful anymore I need my soap fix. Not that you’re life is a soap opera, I’m just curious.

btw – I know there was 11, my maths has never been fantastic.

Lucy Uncategorized

*** WARNING NOTE: This post was written ‘in the heat of the moment’, but not posted for quite some time after the post date. The only way regular readers would know this post is to read the archives, and if you do that, well you do so at your own risk…. ***

Today yet another chapter in Adam’s Book of Complications has been added. Now because he is currently working like an absolute bastard at work and won’t be able to post today he’s encouraged me to.

This morning at work he received a mild dressing down from a supervisor. The cause of this rebuke was because someone had actually made a complaint to a supervisor regarding Adams behaviour. That someone had felt uncomfortable by Adam being himself, loud and jovial, and giving his Adam hugs (patent pending.)

That’s fair enough, that’s someone else’s own prerogative. But to me if ou have a problem with someone go straight to the source. If Adam gives you a hug or tells a dirty joke that you’re “offended” by, tell him. Once you make something known to Adam he will go out of his way to make sure that it’s followed. He’s uber-sensitive to other people feelings, and making sure people feel comfortable and accepted seems to be part of his genetic make up.

If you have issues with someone, be a woman pick yourself up,walk over to him and say

“I’m offended by…., I don’t like it when….”

That’s all I’m saying. You have a voice, use it.

Because I can guarantee that if you’d done that to Adam he would’ve said ” oh fuck, I didn’t realise I’m sorry” and backed the fuck off.
You didn’t do that, instead he has to censor his behaviour, speech, tone and attitude towards everybody he works with, and some people he socialises with so he doesn’t run the risk of you being offended.

But I’m personally not buying this for a second. The person who has made the complaint, who will remain nameless, is someone who Adam has enjoyed not only a good working relationship but they’ve hung out outside of work also.
If someone gives you the creeps or is doing something that you’re not cool with then don’t fucking catch up on weekends. Or send childish fucking petty sms’ to him. Or persist in helping certain toxic childish girls spread petty rumours around. Or continue to speak with him as normal, right up until he’s told that you’re uncomfortable with him by somebody else.

And to another certain girl who is on Adam’s list of acquaintances, who yet again is not directly involved with this but just sitting on the sidelines. Who has made it her business to know what’s been going on in his life, by sneakily befriending people who were close with him, and then spreading malicious rumours. Rumours that are based on lies, misinformation or hyperbole, rumours that are actually hurting the two people involved who are good decent people and don’t deserve to be dragged to your level.

I can assure you that your previous behaviour towards Adam was something only the most desperate, sad and lonely people could display. I can also assure you that he regrets any and all his previous contact with you, and to me the ideal resolution would be for you to grow the fuck up, come to your senses, get a fucking grip and stop being such a dirty disrespectful little girl. Leave both of them alone and get yourself some help, they’re both better off with you in their circle of friends.

You’re a childish, nasty, malicious, hurtful, spiteful and manipulative girl.

And mostly I have this to say to you, you’re a cunt.

Lucy Uncategorized rants

I am working like a bastard at the moment ( there you go honey). nd frankly I’m not liking it at at all.

Everytime I seem to be flat chat people seem to heap even more work on me. And just to remind you I’m a receptionist, so all that work that you pass on to some admin-y type pleb? Yeah that comes to me. Needless to say, atm I hate Word and Excel with an all consuming passion normally saved for the skanky whores I seem to be surround by.

Anyway, had an interesting conversation with an unnamed male about the affliction that will reduce any man to a quivering sack of girlie sobs, Brewers Droop. The name seems apt, the more you drink the more it just ain’t going to happen, no matter how much you want it to. My question though is if you know you’re going out to pick up or have your eye on a certain hot/cool/gorgeous girl, why do the excessive drinking? Just curious really, I really don’t think any of the boys will respond but I thought I’d put it out there.

What I will say at the moment though is that I love boys. Not one in particular, just generally.

I love

: how they smell ( I will marry or snog any boy wearing Eternity for Men)

: I love how you’re naturally and instinctively protective of girls ( walking by the side of the road, they’ll naturally gravitate to stand between the cars and you)

: I love stubble, not stubble rash mind you, just that scruffy grr look they get going
sometimes.

: I love how guys are all bravado and macho around the boys but as soft as a new born when they’re alone with us.

: I love they’re sense of humours, generally crude, disgusting but so much funnier than girls.

: I love seeing a boy cooking in my kitchen or washing up.

: I love skinny boys and how they’re jeans and trousers hang off their arse, grrr.

: I love big solid guys who I always seem to feel safe around.

: I love seeing labourers at the end of the day when they’re all scruffy and dirty.

: I love how certain guys don’t put up with my sass.

: I love how I will never, ever keep up drink for drink with my IT guys from work, ever.

: I love the feeling of snuggling up against a boys back and falling asleep there.

: I love the honesty that generally comes from guys.

: I love them for being so different to us girls.

Whoa who knew I loved you buggers that much.

Lucy Uncategorized rants

Ok this is going to be a very quick post. I’m actually starting my new jobby thingy today and I have exactly 23 minutes until Rach comes back to her computer and sees me writing about blow jobs.

First of all, I rock. I’m learning all the new stuff quickly and there’s only been a couple of moments where I’ve had the wtf expression on my face. I am a freaking genius.

To get to the control issues brought up by Adam I think I first have to clear up a couple of misconceptions. Everytime a girl/woman goes down on a guy doesn’t mean that we’re thinking in terms of emotional manipulation. It’s the same feeling that a guy would get making a girl arch her back or gasp. You’re doing it for the primary reason of pleasuring someone, whether the person be someone you just met or your long term partner.

However the knowledge that the majority of guys love a bj and that we can make you melt is a very cool thing, hence the slight power trip girls can get. Nothing more nothing less.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t use bj’s and sexual favours to our advantage though. I’m not going to tell you why or what we do exactly but you tend to give in most times because of it, and that’s all I have to say on that.

Though I do have to say people who don’t enjoy oral are kinda weird. In fact I think you’re down right fucked in the head. I tend to be a sarcastic kind of girl. Go down on me and you’ll have me docile, passive and purring like a kitten.

Speaking of control I think we should all give a warm round of Sciron applause for Adam whose case of the BB’s is probably terminal now. Yet he continues to avoid any girl, no matter what context, for the sake of not complicating his life even more than it tends to get. You’re doing a good job babe.

Dan, as a side note, there was absolutely no offense taken over any of your posts. Simple fact is Eve doesn’t get offended. So I look forward to reading your account of the latest spitroast/bj/ugly girl/one nighter.

Lucy Uncategorized sex and love

I’ll just start off with, it’s a pleasure Dan. I was expecting to be offended and I almost was. All that talk of strippers and spit roasts, I can tell already you’re a charmer.

No numbers thank you, I’m a lady.

First of all I’m not going to give numbers, but I can safely say I’m not a nun but I’m not a skanky ho, you can make of that what you will. But considering I’m the lone girl poster on this site amongst the many gorgeous, charming men I wouldn’t give you an accurate number anyway. The two best responses when asked by a new boy is either ” There’s never been anyone before you”, or my favourite get his response, eg 15, and halve it and there’s your lucky number. Even in this progressive day and age women are still not supposed to have an equal amount of sexual partners. And boys you know it’s true.

Not tonight dear I have a headache.

How much is enough? After the initial, don’t get out of bed for weeks, phase I’m probably with the 3-5 times a week but it all depends. In summer, on hot nights, don’t come near me. With cold nights the exact opposite. Also depends on the person/relationship, there’s some people where not that you don’t connect, but just that the physical side isn’t the most important side of the relationship.

Monica Lewinsky school of BJ’s.

I see that the boys are having trouble with the whole bj not counted as serious sexual contact. Personally I’m of the Bill Clinton school of thought, ” I did not have sexual relations with that woman”. I completely agree, to me a blow job can either be a part of the sexual act or a stand alone act. By that same token just because a bj is given doesn’t mean sex is forthcoming, but the guy will always know that from the beginning.
A bj in the stand alone context is just a follow on of a pash and dash, fooling around without the one night stand. I can’t really explain it any further, some people find certain acts easier and less intimate. Some people view kissing someone as a highly intimate and exclusive act, others view it as a simple physical release. And anyway is a blow job more personal/intimate than a hand job because you’re in closer physical contact? And depending on the position if you’re not in eye contact with someone during sex doesn that make it less intimate?

Different strokes for different folks people.

Oh to clarify, the above paragraph refers to a single girls guide to bj’s, the rules obviously change with you have a partner where the act means all that much more, sorry if that confuses you.

Good girls fake it.

Here is an eternal truth….girls do fake it. I’m sorry if that hurts or if you’re in complete denial ” Not with me, little lady.”
Yeah no, we do. Simple answer is sometimes you couldn’t be bothered, sometimes you’re doing ok, but not great. Sometimes we’re with boys who honestly don’t care all that much. The main difference is that it takes longer and more work for a girl, we can’t help this we don’t necessarily like it, but thats the way it is. So next time think if you’re one of those guys who, though cares about their partner, doesn’t go the extra mile because it’s too much effort. Because it’s entirely possible you’re with one of the 50% of women who don’t achieve orgasm by sexual intercourse alone, enjoy that thought.

Lucy Uncategorized sex and love

Matt by the time you finish reading this blog you will hate me, I know that to be true.

Essentially I’m computer illiterate.

You know all the “for Dummies” instruction manuals? Yeah, well they’re too complicated for me. I only recently figured out what software and hardware actually was ( I wish I was kidding).

My monitor is known as the tv boxy thingy, and the only thing I use the hard drive/box for is to play my cds. The monitor/tv boxy thing is mainly used for somewhere I can put all my post-its reminding me of numbers and events.

Any problems with my computer, call Adam, if he can’t help, which he nearly always can. If not we have an outstanding support desk who I bother weekly because I tend to lock myself out of my computer on a regular basis.

I don’t bother with security, my password is the same thing for everything, or a variation on the theme. Our IT security guy hates me with a passion. Most of the files stored on my personal drive is either Vin Diesel/David Beckham powerpoint displays or the photos from Adams recent trip to Sydney.

I say on a daily basis that I hate computers, I know that the feeling is mutual.

I don’t ever try to fix any computer because I will fuck it up, guaranteed.

Anywho I just wanted to piss Matt off, now my Monday morning is complete.

Lucy Uncategorized rants

In response

# How you can be nice to a girls face, but then months later shit all over her by fucking her boyfriend… upon asking why you completed this act of terrorism, i’m informed “because that dirty bitch spilled a drink on me when we were at x club 6 months ago” ….. (yes, i’ve really heard that quote) – What the!?!?!?

Ok these girls are the lowest form of scum. These are the same girls that fake pregnancies to keep their boyfr ends, sleep with their friends boys just because they can, cheat on their boyfriends and mind fuck people just for the hell of it. I don’t like these girls and they give normal decent girls a really bad whore of a name.

btw – I think it might be just the town you live in A.

# Shoes!?!?! – I’ve got 3 pairs of shoes, and even that’s getting out of control. You have shoes that I can’t even pronounce, and you’d gladly sell you soul, your first-born and your husband all for the latest designer snake-skin pumps that are all the rage….

Ok I have no defence for this, touche. But only if they were Hermes or Prada – I do have standards.

# Still on shoes (sortoff) …. You: Fab dress, fab hair, fab shoes, fab everything …. Us: Comfy shoes, comfy clothes, comfortable….. Setting: Party, restaurant, night club, anywhere…..

You’re getting the picture here…..

I can only speak on my behalf, but I can honestly say I don’t do that. This girl sounds like a high maintenance pain in the arse

Also unfortunately girls are expected to dress up when we go out. While it’s perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear jeans and a t/shirt out to any of the above named places it’s not for girls.
Also if we went out looking like crap, guess who’d be the first one to complain?

# Amount of times in a day you can love/hate/be indifferent about your “best” friend: 1,279 – What’s with that! .. they’re you’re best friend.. why don’t you just do what males do and not talk to each other for 14 months, forget what you were pissed about in the first place and get over it!

Ah but whereas it takes a boy 14 months to get over something, girls generally get over stuff much quicker. So we get pissed at them for an hour or so, speak to them, tell them we’re pissed off, they apologise, we get over it. Much easier. It’s just how girl friendships work.

# Women who have never had an orgasm! … That’s just fucked up… I mean seriously. It’s your body, it has parts that allow you to experience pleasure, without assistance from a man. How the *fuck* do you expect me to know how to bring you to raging orgasm when you’ve never had one! ….. Give us a little bit of credit…

Stupid uptight girls. I have no comeback for this, in fact I tend to agree with Adam, girls go sex toy shopping with Adam, it’s the only way.

# “yes, yes yes yes yes, now now now now now now! ….. No wait!! .. Noooooooooooooo” – AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Just because you’re lag time is 2.5 minutes doesn’t mean ours is, learn to love it. Unless of course you’re not doing anything for us and we faked that

- You’re sitting down, so we can’t stare at the other parts of your body we’d like to without it looking totally ridiculous.

Try a little harder, if I walked around only looking at a guys packages I wonder what the reaction would be.

# And by far the most heinous of all female crimes…… Sleeping/Dating/Marrying cruel, dumb fuck, mindless, wankers/assholes/inbreds…..
Why do women date guys who are going to: ignore them, treat them like shit, spend all their time with their mates, expect them to clean up after them …. the list goes on and on and on… And women actively tell me on a regular basis that they like a “bit of a bad boy” ….

I can’t explain the nice guys finish last phenomenon, it’s not something that we’re particularly proud of or that makes any sense whatsoever. If it makes you feel any better the bad boys end up alone or unhappily married to the whores from the first point and the nice guys usually win in the end after the girl finally gets bored with the fuckwits.] and comes to her senses.

Plus nice guys are kinda grating, especially the ones who are so attentive you want to scream and let you get away with murder. There’s a very fine line between being nice and being a doormat.

I also can’t explain the bad boy thing, at all. There’s just something about them that makes up for all the emotional torment, the nights spent at home waiting for a call, the missed birthdays and events, the unreliability. But it wears off very, very quickly and then we realise that the nice boys are actually the best thing in the world.

I’ve told women, to their face, that i’m not interested in them… nada, zip, bubkiss… get outta here!, for them to then follow me around for the rest of the night buying me drinks! ….

Maybe it’s just because you’re shithot, or it could be the country town you live in where the girls are kinda scary.

- Haven’t you been reading this page for the last month?
* Me, uncomplicated…. fuck no…
* Wonton, damm, that boys heading down adam-alley at a blazing pace while I head towards normalcy.
* Matt, his mates are here for him, but he’s got all his own shit that he’s dealing with…
You’re asking the wrong crew i’s be thinki’……

Yeah but we all know that you guys aren’t a typical bunch of boys, the best looking? yes but the most normal, hell no

I think maybe we’ll just have to let it be that we’ll never understand each other, I think I actually prefer it that way.

ps. Adam your spellcheck blows, it didn’t have arse, wanker, fuckwit or Hermes.

Lucy Uncategorized sex and love

Ok I’ve recently come to the conclusion that girls don’t get boys and boys don’t get girls. Of course deep down I always knew this but recently I’ve noticed among my girl and guy friends that confusion, bewilderment and straight up what-the-fuck is the most common themes in boy-girl understanding. Here’s a following list of things that I will never understand:

* How boys can switch their emotions off so easily. This may seem like a sweeping generalisation, especially considering Adams friends who all seem to be uncommonly in touch with their feminine side.
e.g. A friend of mine, of the boy variety, recently ended a 3 year relationship with his girlfriend who he also lived with. 2 months later he has not only moved in with the boys and is living it up, but he’s also in another relationship and has already met the new girls parents. All the while his ex is still looking at a reconciliation and emotionally grieving.

* Boys and their toys. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless( Adam) refuses to catch cabs because of the unnecessary expense, yet will fork out $80 odd dollars each week on a jet ski. Be it WRX’s, Palm Piloty thingys or Playstations/Xboxes, my theory is boys never grow up. Personally this theory has never proved me wrong.

* Pet names for penises. I’m sorry but I really don’t get this, you don’t see me having names for my breasts and I don’t understand how it’s cool or manly or mature to be calling it the Sword of Pleasure. (Yes Joe that was aimed at you)

* This one is not for me, it’s on the behalf of a girl I was speaking to today who was complaining that after sex all her boyfriend does is roll over and go to sleep. Since I’m a big fan of the sex followed by rolling over, spooning, sleeping, this question is on her behalf, what’s up with that?

* Now just because a girl has breasts doesn’t mean that non eye contact while talking with her is cool. I can kinda understand if you’re out and she’s wearing a top where she falls out every now and then, but if I’m at work and your my superior, chin up please boys.

* Once again disregarding Adam and the boys, how boys can be good friends with another guy yet never have a conversation longer than 5 minutes that doesn’t involve, beer, chicks and sport. What do you actually talk about?

* Hanging onto the t-shirt you first got lucky in, the hat you got (insert favourite sporting guy) to autograph, I completely understand that. But wearing said ratty t-shirt/hat in public? Piece of advice, if you ever want to get laid again, leave the offending article of clothing at home or for drinking with the boys

* Fascination with video games, don’t get it. I can’t play anything that’s 3D, fucks with my head too much. I am completely addicted to my Super Nintendo and my Super Mario Brothers game but that’s it. So any game or playing system newer than 1990 is beyond my grasp, damned kids of today

* How boys are generally so simple and uncomplicated, this isn’t a query exactly, it’s more along the lines of jealousy. I wanna be unemotional and laidback, yet girls are consigned the hysterical emotional role. Also unfortunate that it’s true the majority of the time.

And the most baffling thing I’ll never understand;

* The consta t rearranging of yourself. Personally unless your suffering from a bad case of leprosy the odds of your boys falling off at some point during the day is quite low. So when I’m having a conversation with males at work about some business-related topic, it can be a little disconcerting for him to be constantly copping a cheap feel, on himself. Can anyone enlighten me on this?

If anyone can explain any of these I would be one less confused girl, send any useful information to Adam .

Speaking of gross generalisations, I better get back to filing my nails, preparing a 3 course dinner for my husband and getting his pipe and slippers ready for when he gets home from a hard day at the office.

Lucy Uncategorized sex and love

Ok I shouldn’t be posting at all but the latest Delta love-a-thon/bitch-a-thon has got me intrigued.

1: I find Matt’s puppy-love attitude towards Delta quite sweet but also baffling. To be honest I just assumed any girl singer who doesn’t get her breasts out on Ralph or FHM wouldn’t have male fans. Once again I don’t get boys at all.

2: I kinda agree with Adam on the sympathy vote, however I think regardless of the cancer I think she would’ve swept the Aria’s anyway. I mean all of her singles have hit no. 1.

I think she’s talented, gorgeous and considering the burden that’s been placed on her recently, brave.

However every year the awards are biased towards not just the music but also the human story behind them. Last year it was silverchair and Daniel Johns battle against athritis. Next year it’ll be Nikki Webster and her crack cocaine addiction, at least I’m hoping.

Anyway boys, save your energy for the more important questions like if you got into a fight with Pink would you win?( No really honestly) And if you had to choose between Kylie Minogue or Holly Valance who would you pick? And what is up with the wrestler Mankind writing a book that’s hit the New York Times bestseller list?

See much more important things to worry about

Lucy Uncategorized rants

As you can see by the previous post Adam has hit the stage the scientists call the “Hallucination Barbie Complex”. Where the subject experiences desire and increased libido around inanimate objects eg. Barbie dolls and Playboy underwear.

Plus the physical symptoms are increasing, the physical discomfort has reached its zenith with the subject describing it as a ” dull, throbbing ache “. His will is weakening in the face of several women around him learning of the experiment and trying to test it. The incline in the temperature has resulted in many women surrounding Adam in both workplace and social network wearing less clothing exposing the soft skin which is the subjects weakness. He is now entertaining the thought of revisiting past sexual partners which only ended badly just so the discomfort goes away. He is referring to himself as an addict, much like a cocaine user can be classified as a crack junkie, he craves the physical contact but knows that to give in now will only end badly and quickly eg. 3 minutes.

Even the idea of having a certain sex-ex, who will from now on be known as ” the whore “, isn’t the worst idea he thinks he’s had. Even though she is like the Ebola virus, quick, deadly and messy, he is only thinking in terms of physical release. He is partaking in sex based outings, his recent trip to a pornography selling adult shop indicative of his mindset.

The idea of going out and socialising terrifies him now, as the notion of alcohol lubrication can only mean the end of the BB and also the start of a whole world of pain involving said “whore”. Yet the BB symptoms have resulted in said boy becoming myopic in his search for release.

More updates to come as the situation grows more grave for the subject.

Lucy Uncategorized sex and love