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That’s it really….

And:

- I miss home
- I’m too old for this shit
- I just want to go on holidays, i’m starting to hit a low point

Adam

Adam Uncategorized rants

That’s all I have to say….

Adam

Adam Uncategorized rants

I’m currently in the UK with a work colleague.. and he’s a nice guy. A great guy actually who I honestly enjoy working with (he does all the right things and gives a toss about his job, I like that).

But he doesn’t drink…

And that’s ok, but I do drink…..

And that’s still ok…

But get this….. I ask him casually about the ‘trip’ he’s taking in France after he’s finished work next weekend (ie he’s doing the same thing as me and taking a much-needed holiday afterwards)….

You know where this is going, don’t you…..

Un.. fucking … believable…

Of *ALL* the tours in the world, at all the times to go on them… quite literally, he’s on my tour…. Oh yes… exactly the same tour, exactly the same time…….

You just wouldn’t fucking believe it.

Adam

p.s – God help me, you all know it’s actually true…..

Adam Uncategorized rants, travel

So!

Apparently, i’m going to Europe……. For those that care, here’s the timeline… (well, I care, so i’m writing it down so I remember when my memory goes….)

So, here we go…

23rd September – Sydney -> London (I should note that i’ll be doing this before I head off!)
24th September – 4th October -> Work in London

6th October – 26th October -> Contiki Europe

27th October – London -> Edinburgh [Beautiful train ride....]
7th-28th October – Viv’s (staying with friends in Edinburgh)

29th-31st October – Scotland tour
31st October (night) – Vivs (again, free accomodation)
1st November – Fly to Dublin [for a grand total of 60 pence for two people!]
1st November (night) – Accomodation (TBC)

2nd – 4th November – Ireland Tour
4th November (night) – Stay in Dublin

5th November – Flying Dublin to Paris
5th – 9th November – Staying with friend in Paris (5 minutes walk to Eiffel Tower)
5th – 8th/9th November – Possible tour? … [Probably not, but have friend to recommend places to go!]

9th November – Paris -> London (Eurostar train, underneath the channel)

10th November -> 26th November -> Work in London, Scotland and Poland

————-

Can I just say, woohoo!

Adam

Adam Uncategorized travel

I have a Blackberry (along with 21 of my colleagues)…

Average e-mails sent on Blackberry @ my company = 226
Number of e-mails sent on my Blackberry = 679

I think my e-penis just got slightly bigger today

Adam

p.s – And i’ve had my Blackberry, on average, 45% shorter period than my colleagues…..

Adam Uncategorized rants

Yes, i’m just a dirty old man

Adam

p.s – She’s some teenage Disney star… I love that shit

Adam Uncategorized sex and love

If those breasts haven’t been augmented, i’m the pope….

Adam

Adam Uncategorized rants

It’s time for a real citizen test that requires real Australian qualities.

LANGUAGE

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term “died in the arse”?
2. What is a mole?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage: “In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.”

CUSTOMS
1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana.
If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

2. Complete the following sentences: a) “If the van’s rockin’ don’t bother … b) You’re going home in the back of a … c) Fair suck of the …
3. I’ve had a gutful and I can’t be fagged. Discuss
4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard “up on blocks”? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

FOOD
1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?
5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else’s beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?
6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people’s meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter “b” is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

CULTURE
1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
2. Is it possible to “prang a car” while doing “circle work”?
3. Who would you like to crack on to?
4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin “Bloody” Wilson, John “True Blue” Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
5. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?

The people to be granted citizenship are the ones who call it a crock and cheat…..

Adam Uncategorized jokes