sciron.org/blog

And I *like* my mobile phone!

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20283941-421,00.html

Adam

Adam Uncategorized

Want to know the definition of plain-ass stupid…..?

I’m going to do the half marathon on the 17th of September….

2hrs and 20 minutes of pain

http://www.runthebridge.com.au

Yeah baby

Adam

Adam Uncategorized fitness

Have to admit this is not the type of post i’d be writing up today, but apparently when one bribes a bouncer to get into a nightclub, one decides that the massive consumption of alcohol is further required to offset the bribery that once has been forced into just to have a couple of hours fun with his g/f.

One was not to know that when one drinks 5 shots of Sambucca after mixing rum and beer for an entire evening that one will be sick tbhe day.

However, I have learnt a few valuable lessons:

- My recovery time from sick to running 10k’s was only 6 hours, so that’s impressive

- I really can’t believe I used to drink like that and enjoy it

- I don’t have any desire to do it again and will be sticking to a few beers on nights out from here on out.

Would love to write more, but have to get back to the boring stuff (work).

Loving all your work.

Adam

Adam Uncategorized drinking and debauchery

You’re living your life right now folks. Don’t spend all your time being retrospective. Those spontaneous moments, they happen when you make them happen.

Never forget the opportunity to step outside your sphere of comfort and give something a try that scares you a little.

Adam

Adam Uncategorized rants

Calm down….

 (just in case anyone started getting ideas to say i’m having one)

 I was taking the opportunity to enjoy a rare conversation with my mother last night (anything longer than 2 minutes is long-winded in our view of the world) and I was absolutely moved to realise that the older I get, the more i’m starting to understand the way she sees the world, because it’s the way that I see it.

I was confronted yesterday with the statement from Mum that it wouldn’t suprise her if Kath and I never had kids and just got married and decided that it wasn’t in our plan for things we wanted to do, and I have to admit that i’m starting to think that it’s possible that she might be correct.

 Now I need to be careful when I say that because the more that my life moves forward, the more that I realise that i’m not really in control of any of the big ticket items (health, love, family), they either happen or they don’t, and i’m not really in any position to be a part of the creative process, i’m just their for the journey and the universe is just dragging me along (sometimes kicking and screaming, sometimes willingly).  For me, the thought of having kids has always been artificial, though because of societys value on the process, i’ve always said ‘one day’ and ‘one day’, however as each year goes by, that one day just continues to stretch out over the horizon and the more it stretches, the more I see it as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbox, and i’m the leprechaun.

 So the thought that has crossed my mind of late is that i’m 28 years old and I still don’t have a single thought process that makes me want to have kids, doesn’t make me feel like being a parent and doesn’t want to add another human being into my equation of who I am and what I represent.

 Now attempting to explain this to Kath is like talking a foreign language.  While she has simply no concept of not ever having kids, she also has no inclinations, desires or feelings towards having children anytime in our immediate or medium term future.  The opposite side of this is that she happily holds onto the thought process that she will ‘one day’ have one (or more) children of her own, and finds it distantly eerie and somewhat concerning that I raise the topic that I may just never want them.

 And this is where I realise that more and more, i’m like my mum.

For all the years i’ve felt tormented and pressured to be something that I don’t understand, I realise now that my mum and I couldn’t really communicate because there’s no way for she could possibly explain to me that I will *always* feel like this.  I will always be a little unsure, a little unstable and a little wary about my own happiness.  I’m always going to feel that I don’t really deserve it, or that one day it might not be there anymore.  And it’s not sadness that I feel or ambivalence that’s in my heart, it’s just an almost saddening type of reality that not everything remains true forever crossed with a sense of blessing that comes with enjoying what we have in this very moment.

 To add a child into my equation of life feels like i’m robbing the universe of a little too much karma, and that right now, and for as long as I can see it, having a child in my life would represent me having to give up even more of things that define me (friends, family, work, outside commitments) and i’d just be doing less of the things I love right now place of one other thing that i’ll love if and when i’m doing it.

 Now to some i’m sure this will come off as being entirely selfish, why the hell don’t I want to have kids, and why is that I feel I can be selfish.  But I don’t see it that way.  I see it that i’ve been lucky, i’ve got all the things I want in this universe with me right here and right now, and rolling the dice for another addition, another component that I can’t see as defining me any further than I am now, I see that as being selfish.

 I want my life to balance taking from the universe less than I have given it, I don’t want to burden my karma by trying to have my hands in too many unrelated places.

 I think i’m happy right now, and I don’t need anything extra to make me more happy.
Adam

 

Adam Uncategorized rants, sex and love

83 minutes and 52 seconds is how long it took me to run the 14 kilometres from the City of Sydney out to the Surf at Bondi on the 13th August, 2006.

….
As I stripped off my jeans and shirt that were both 5 sizes larger, I couldn’t help but laugh while concurrently almost crying in front of a friend as I realised that my jeans painlessly slipped off over my shoes with zero effort.  To say that this was a year(plus)-long battle would be understimating the influence of my own decision to get serious about getting back into shape and getting my body back to a respectable level.

It was also to teach me a hell of a lot about myself, my friends and the things that are dear to me.

….

 

My desire to complete the City 2 Surf was borne from a commitment that I made to myself last year when I told myself that I was going to get fit and lose weight.  And on this weekend gone past I achieved that goal.  It certainly wasn’t a goal easily reached.  It was a goal reached by completing changing the way that I look at food, at me as a person, at my training, at my commitments, at my family and at my desire to just be a better man, and to one day be a man that will be there for both his partner and his family.

So 1 year ago I made a commitment to run the City 2 Surf.  I made a commitment to get fit.  And get fit I did.

What it takes to get fit is to commit mentally to it.  To want it, to breathe it and to live it. 

Make no mistakes, there are no shortcuts, there are no easy ways out and there is no person who will make you take your sorry ass to that gym when your legs are burning and you’re tired from the long day at work.  There’s only you.
There’s only you, the bike, the weights, the sweat, the breathing and that pounding voice in your head that tells you to shut the fuck up and keep moving.

Make no mistake, there’s not a single moment of it that’s easy.

And that’s the part that hurts on your body.  I won’t begin to explain the mental anguish of giving up my entire life as I knew it and redirecting that energy to a singular, self-focused, unwavering commitment to anything and everything fitness.  For more than 6 months of this journey my friends, family and anything that wasn’t assisting me in losing weight was seen as a detriment. 

And pay the price for some of those choices, I have and will only realise as time passes.

——

It is the greatest sense of achievement to reach your goals, and I had internally told myself that I could do this run in the 80 minute mark with a fair bit of hard work.  After completing it in just under 84 minutes I realise that I took every inch of my mental energy to keep me running up the infamous ‘Heartbreak Hill’, and it takes a shitload more commitment to then turn the final corner of the hill and realise that you have 5 more small hills taunting you to start walking, begging you to give up and not make the final climax before you are greeted by the beauty and serenity of seeing the beach another 2 kilometres away, but so close you can touch it.

 

It is with the deepest sense in my heart that I give endless thanks to the (literally) thousands of volunteers my thanks for smiling, laughing and generally hard-working individuals giving of their time so generously and so selflessly so that 63,542 men, women and children could get their body mass across that fateful line.  One reflects on terrorism, greed, war and hatred yet one can only realise how good this world can be, and how luck we are when 60,000 of us can take our sorry asses outside in the most beautiful of days and punish ourselves in the most idyllic place in the world and call it fun.  The sole reason that 63,542 enjoy their day so much is because of the thankless task that those volunteers undertake to make it happen.
But back to it….

How does it feel?  It hurts, it really does.  Make no mistake, I laboured through the entire run and enjoyed probably 10 minutes where every part of my anatomy wasn’t burning.  Your lungs sear and you can literally count the blisters accumulating on your feet while your brain vigilantly tells you that only a fool continues to push themselves while their heartrate is up at the 80% of peak for sustained periods with no other goal than the feeling that you made it, you committed to it and you achieved what millions of other people didn’t do on that day.

I was humbled by the mid-70′s man who ran past me up heartbreak hill (while I was continuing to run and therefore passing a truckload of other runners) like I was standing still, I was further humbled when I made it to 2 kilometres out and I was behind a father and daughter team with dad voraciously encouraging his beautiful girl that the finish line was only 10 minutes away…. she was 9 years old….

To say that those minutes were tough would seriously underestimate the painful, sweat-laden, feet-blistered, mentally and physically exhausted journey that every man, woman and child makes to get their body mass across that finish line.  To say that the moment when I crossed the line with my friend wasn’t one of the most enjoyable i’ve had in a long time and reconciled all of that pain, suffering, commitment, sweat, early mornings, late nights, constant dirty clothes, heartache and heavy breathing wouldn’t do it justice.

——

To say that my friends who are only very cautiously accepting me back after I essentially disappeared off the face of the earth and are still pissed at me wouldn’t give appropriate justice to how robbed they feel and how much they have been letting me know that being as selfish as I was isn’t always in your best interests.  To say that the impact hasn’t been strong on my girlfriend who has tirelessly put up with me while I have pushed my body to dangerously hardworking levels, for the missed dates, missed dinners and missedd drinking opportunities, I have only 80 mins to thank for them.

To understand why I have chosen to punish myself in this fashion will probably be a secret only kept with me….

But sometimes that’s all you have…

Adam Uncategorized fitness