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When another year slips out of your fingers and you’re left wondering ‘what the hell am I doing with this life of mine’, I try to reflect back on both the good and the bad of the year.

My summary is as follows:

- I’ve got a great girl. And after a particularly adam-esque gestation period I actually (finally) realised how much i’m in love with her. This does not however negate all my stupid actions, strip club visits and other crazy alcohol-fuelled activities that I was apart of over the preceeding months, but it’s a journey that I realise that will make these moments seem insignificant in comparison.
- I’ve got a great job. I love what I do and i’m in love with what my company represents. I also have a boss with a heart of gold and an attitude to match.
- I’m getting fitter. Actually even though I have the stomach of a fat man, i’m the fittest i’ve ever been. It suprises me how fit I am at times but i’m enjoying it. Next year it’s onto the diet to help bring the body-bulge under control
- I’m financially in the same position as last year, though probably worse. That’s ok though, it was a tough year and i’ve had to make some tough decisions. Next year will be filled with debt clearance and wealth-growth.
- I’m sad to have seen the passing of some friends, and ecstatic to see the gaining of new ones. I hold no anger towards those I don’t associate with anymore, and remember that my sadness at not seeing them anymore is indicative of a future path that will almost certainly cross me again, but now is just not the time for that to be occurring.
- I reconnected with my brother… over beers. It’s funny how the simplest of bonds bring us together. I’m proud and happy to have such a great brother/friend/confidant.
- I miss my family, but know they’re with me.

I suppose the theme and thread of the past months (now, years) is that my life is never going to be ordinary, never going to be simple and never going to be uncomplicated. The reason for this, I *like* it like that. I’m going to push hard, make mistakes, live large, party hard and cry when I want to. But I will love and live and give whenever I can. I will beg my forgiveness for the mistakes I made whilst showing appreciation for the things that i’m fortunate and lucky to have in my life.

I’ve stopped drinking so much, but I still like getting on the cans. I’m in love with my girl, and finally letting myself be in love after many years of pain, heartache, distress and torture (usually instigated by me!). I understand the moments that have shaped me, I respect the reasons I make certain mistakes and I forgive myself for not being perfect.

For all of you who still read this, you are all a part of my life, my world, my dreams and my (ultimate) happiness. From asking for 3-year old photos of a broken dream (the beach on the house), to reconnecting after midnight flights with the most weird/demanding and special gay man I know, to spending two days with a mate who will always be my best man. These are the moments that define who I am and how I see my world….

I’ve accepted that i’m a wanker. Embraced it and cherished in the fact that it’s who I am. After all the fighting, hating and complaining, i’ve embraced it. Now I do it for a living and I feel like i’ve finally found peace at it.

To years-long friends, now divorced, but happy again after finding a peace and happiness he required, to helping a housemate through a difficult time and seeing him smiling on the other side, to beautiful girls who just need to be girls, these are partly my stories, partly others, but all important to my world.

I am 27 years old, going on 28 years. I am starting to love my life, love my (hopefully, future) wife.

And I wish you my kind of happiness.

Adam