sciron.org/blog

My ADSL was down at 3am this morning, and thank goodness really
So instead of rollerblading last night I decided on a health/lifestyle balance. Run 10 kilometres (6 miles?) and then proceed to drink beer and eat steak. Works for me.

And instead of finding myself home, in bed at 10pm I receives a call for a couple of quiet drinks….. I’m sure you know where this ends up…..

—-

I’m happy folks. From overnight despair to a few amazing things happening in my world (personal and now professional) i’m feeling like the journey is all worthwhile. Due to the reader base of this humble abode I won’t be sharing any details with you though i’m sure things will start to come through in the new year.

—-

Let me just say that the difference between what I want to write on this site and what you actually see is chalk-and-cheese. This is my usual process:

- Write post, be open honest and blunt
- Edit…
- Hack
- Edit….

Of course what comes out the other end is some saccharine version of my original post that doesn’t say much more than ‘like, huh, I, uh, had a great day, like, uh’ ….. goddammit(!)
On average more than 60% of what I write never makes an appearence for public eyes. Some moments i’m frustrated that I just want to be able to vent, others i’m just sad that I have to censor myself so much for the benefit of ex-girlfriends, work colleagues and everybody in between.

What i’d really like to be able to share is what’s really happening in my life. I want to get the shit off my chest and get fucking excited about the cool potential which is out there.

I want to tell you that I have actually learnt some things and i’m getting better at this.

I want to tell you all how much fun i’m having.

A

I’m so glad to hear that we’re ‘turning the ship around’ and expunging ourselves of all the ‘homosexuals’…

Sigh..

America: Working towards the equality of Anglo-Saxon, Christian males eveywhere.

Another 4 years of this shit …. fuck……

I can’t believe I called it “The Thing”

Acknowledging a woman’s period as ‘the thing’ is probably the uncoolest thing i’ve ever said. And for those that know me well, i’ve said many uncool things.

Of all the things i’ve done, i’m usually pretty good with the realistic sides of a woman’s body (or at least good with not being an asshole about it’s impact on my life), but somehow I seem to have slipped into the dangerous ‘footballer-style’ territory or acknowledgement of basic human function.

Things can’t be getting good from here …
I was at this stage going to turn this post into something with some more substance, but as i’m devoid of all mental capacity i’m just going to rave about some minor segments of my life because i’m not sharing any of the good stuff with you.

- CC is getting laid this weekend, yay for you babe!
- K is also getting laid this weekend, yay for you to sweetie!
- C has been getting laid so much i’m suprised he can still stand
- 7 more days until I get out of here and disappear to Queensland

- Spoke to my ex yesterday, and there’s something definitely up there. She’s met someone, I can feel it. It’s in her voice and her cheery ‘i’m happy and maybe you’re not as happy as me’ tone. To which I can honestly say two things ‘good for you’ and ‘hope you’re having a good time’.

- Work is progressing. Life is progressing well. Beer will be consumed for a few more days of this week.

- As if it’s not a flashback to my early childhood, i’m going to be seeing The Goodies in concert in March. hehehehe .. I can’t wait!

I’ve joined a younger crowd. A complete turnaround from the 30-something crowds where i’m the youngest, least experienced and least worldly. Now, i’m the older guy amongst 21-24 year olds, where … well.. i’m still the least worldy though sometimes more traveled
Not that i’m complaining mind you. I can comfortably drink as much as they can and i’m thoroughly enjoying their enthusiasm and their cool perspective on the world. Not that i’d give up being 26 if you paid me all the money in the world.

Well, maybe for a few months
I really have nothing more to say.

Bring on the weekend!

Loving all your work
A

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father’s details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check number 11, It takes the prize.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window at a party, when taken unexpectedly
from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 36 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto shoe in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was, as all soldiers look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I’d have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.

Things went well with the boss.

Honest chat about the good things i’ve done (quite a few apparently)
Honest chat about the things that can be improved (staff communication, building rapport with specialised staffers)
Honest chat about money (good) and training (also good)

We’re on the same page, I feel significantly better and know that I have someone going into bat for me which helps the decisions that much easier.

I’m going to try to work on the staff that I can improve. Firstly i’m going to listen a lot more and ask a lot less. Little steps.

Adam

I continue to be amazed that while some things may be going absolutely shit, there are moments that make you remember that life isn’t all that bad. And so begins my (extended) weekend in review:

Thursday night:

- Was having an officially bad day. Decided that a few post-work beers was required. Off to the York Bar for some pre-pre drinks. Cheap and dodgy, though fitting the bill as a meet point because of the train station locality.

- Stumbling slightly towards (ok, so maybe it was more than a few drinks) to Bar 333.

We’ve decided at this stage that the double-vodka’s I’ve been drinking are probably getting expensive. Of course the invite to Bar 333 was for a work party, so we’re no longer paying for drinks
- Cabbed it home after receiving a distress call for help.

- Pizza for dinner. More vino (I was amongst white wine drinkers, v. nice). A couple of bottles of Brown Brothers and finally off to bed.

Friday:

- The rain came.

So,

- Dinner, movie and beers on the couch.

Saturday:

- Slept in, Pancakes, Shopping (watch the intro flash, very funny!) and Beach Volleyball. Followed up with some relaxing, some ice cream and fantastic ferry ride home.

- Fit in a few hours sleep, back out for beer in steins.

- My mate decides to bail on me around 11pm (damn girls calling up for meaningful overnight relationships!), found out I was only tables away from an absolutely gorgeous group of girls who I promptly visited.

- More friends/acquaintances/beer-drinking comrades made over the space of the next few hours
- This is where things start to head downhill…. Onto The Orient, well renowned for being Australia’s biggest pickup joint. We weren’t disappointed :). Boys and girls pashing everywhere, great 80’s and 90’s music keeps us singing at the top of our lungs and general debauchery that you’d expect from a classy establishment.

Sunday:

- More shopping, and then some.

- And who could forget the delicious goodness of Krispy Kreme donughts…. drool

- More vids, more beers, more good company and more antics made for a perfect end to an amazing weekend.

————

ed: [snip] I just realise I was the one who was being childish…. [/snip]

———–

But for now I wait until I have ‘the call’ and see where things take me. Expect my next post to be (hopefully) discussing “where to’s”.

ed: [snip] again … [/snip]

Loving all your work, realising that great friends are forever, knowing that great days and brilliant weekends do make the difference, and that ed: [snip] and again …. [/snip]

Adam

ed: There’s something about this song.. I just can’t put my finger on it…
ed2: Fuck me…. Neil Finn was a member of Split Enz…. probably why I like it so much… *mental-fucking-headslap*….. (for those that don’t know i’m a huge Crowded House fan…. apparently :P)

—————

I got you - that’s all I want
I won’t forget - that’s a whole lot
I don’t go out - not now that you’re in
Sometimes we shout - but that’s no problem

I don’t know why sometimes I get frightened
You can see my eyes, you can tell that I’m not lyin’

Look at you - you’re a pageant
You’re everything - that I’ve imagined
Somethings wrong - I feel uneasy
You show me - tell me you’re not teasin’

I don’t know why sometimes I get frightened
You can see my eyes, you can tell that I’m not lyin’
I don’t know why sometimes I get frightened
You can see my eyes, can you tell me you’re not lyin’

To all those who’ve sent e-mails, left comments and called to say that you think i’m an OK person, I appreciate it more than you can possibly imagine.

A super-duper(!) thanks to one lovely lady who has spent the last hour singing really really bad 80’s music with me on the phone.

I am indebted to you this afternoon.

*hugs*

A

p.s- I’ve actually been laughing for a while now. Really laughing. That’s an absolute turnaround from this morning where I was finding it hard to breathe. God I love cocaine (i’m kidding folks..)

p.p.s - Apparently this is what I need to do.

ed: For safety’s sake I have cut these back to just one line(rs). Advice was quite verbatim but I don’t want to intrude on personal e-mail space…

1. Listen more effectively.
………………
If they’ve got an idea about something, even if you think your idea is better, go with theirs. If it fucks up it’s on their head not yours. Everything doesn’t need to be perfect all the time otherwise in your attention to detail you get bogged down.

2. Speak less. As a follow on from above you talk too much and don’t hear enough. In your meetings, even if it’s your baby, say what you need to say is as less words as humanely possible.
…………………………….
any successful respected middle/high management type talk as little as possible yet get the best results and are well liked and respected.

3. The suit alienates the tech-y guys.
…………………
It puts an invisible barrier between you and the guys who are actually your peers and who will do the majority of the hard work for the projects decided in your wanky meetings.

4. Not everyone is going to like you.
…………..

5. Relax, have fun. Be serious when you need to be but slow the fuck down……………………

edit: I have been duly informed that these are the consequences of my own actions. Original post remains as this is how i’m feeling atm.

You know what?

The last four weeks I have been dragged, pushed, punched, and generally mauled both both friends, ex’s and work colleagues.

I’ve been called possibly every name under the sun, i’ve had managers that I respect tell me that my work is worthless and that they could do it. I’ve been told that my role is insignificant, that I am not liked by any of my peers, managers or associated staff members and i’m a bad person.

My ex has resorted to degrading me in my public (and personal) life so badly that i’ve received two calls in two weeks from senior managers ‘gently concerned’ about my wellbeing.

You know what, i’m fucking sick of it.

- I worked my ass off this year. I put in 80+ hour weeks. I stabilised the desktops environment across 5 sites. I built 3 new major campaigns which will bring us in excess of $6 million in revenue over the next three years. I have taken downtime from an average of 500 working hours per week down to minutes per week.

- I had to build a team of staff from scratch and work with them to have a complete change of focus on their modus operandi. I subsequently have been the beating post for three different divisions, all of who don’t like the fact that we needed them to take responsibility for their actions. I have received no support for this, just expected to ‘make it happen’. I have been told to ‘rock the boat’, ‘change the focus’ and generally take people out of their saccharine existence and actually start to make money. Ironically since we started this division we’ve started to make money…….

- Personally, I have moved in with a couple of fucking exceptional housemates who I like and respect. I’ve met their friends and think they’re great people.

- I’ve started trusting a few of the boys and enjoy a night (or two) out on the drink with them. They seem to enjoy my company because they bag me if I don’t come out.

- I have been respectful and graceful when my ex broke it off with me. I have *never* indicated that she had any fault in our relationship. This is complete bullshit of course (nobody is perfect!), but I felt that since we work in the same company that a bit of professionalism goes a long way. I have not had that same decency come back to me in return.

- I have fucked up friendships and relationships. I have learnt some small lessons, but the large ones continue to elude me.

——-

- I don’t hit or beat people. I try to be friendly and professional. I try to laugh with people. I don’t steal. I haven’t stolen anybody’s girlfriend. I pay my way. I don’t ever try to deliberately hurt people. I respect my work colleagues. I don’t slag them off if I have a personal conflict with them.

- I think that i’m a relatively nice guy. I have friends who I would kill for. I have friends that I would step in front of a bus for. I miss them and respect them.

- I’m nice to my parents and I love them dearly. I have made mistakes but never done anything that has made them ashamed of me. I am protective of my brother and cried at his wedding because he was so happy.

- I have friends in 3 states and 3 countries that call me and chase me up and want to talk to me. Some of them have known me for 15 years. Some I see once a year and still hold close to my heart. All of them I wish I could see at the same place.

And this makes me the worst person that you could know……….?

Today I received this in an e-mail…

You are not liked nor respected by any of your peers or managers at work

I’m not sure I know what to say to that….

ed: You know, it’s not actually being liked that causes me concern, but the lack of respect thing is just completely fucked. I work hard and consider myself good at my job. It’s what I do well. Oh well.

Adam