Holding Back
So it came to mind that I wonder why we hold back so much. Why do we dance with a member of the opposite sex. Why not just be honest? Throw yourself into hot water? Go nuts and wait for the consequences later on.
Well i’m guessing that it’s to do with the fun factor.
Rushing out into something means you don’t spent as much time in the excitement phase. The phase where you’re desperate to see each other, desperate to hear their voice or excited to see their SMS.
There are moments in my world (most of them) when I have rushed things, and today’s post is going to try to investigate why I do it, why other people don’t, and whether I should be changing over to the slow-and-steady way of life.
I’ve never really been one much for patience. My initial interests in going faster and being more efficient have always been an integral part of what drives me. I want it yesterday, want it today if I didn’t get it yesterday and want it tomorrow as well. My work life is dictated by seriously slow periods punctuated with the most intensive stress periods (for various durations). It’s these highs that keep me energised, focused and enthralled in a roll. Probably why i’m still in Teleservices divisions after all these years.
Various reasonings for this behaviour have been tossed around for an age and i’m probably coming to the following conclusions:
- Parental influence (ie they have an intense relationship that’s honest and hard and beautiful and amazing)
- Above-mentioned attitude towards ‘now’
- Systematic belief that the ‘right one’ will be something I just know.
Of course there are some severe failure points. Whilst I am very picky of who I date, who I spend time with and who I sleep with (it’s not a big list, I assure you), I have usually hyped this person so much that I fail to let them be real to me. By placing them on an impossible pedestal I fail to realise that they’re human, they make mistakes and they get things wrong.
What ends up happening is disappointment and heartache and i’m left blaming them for the mistakes that they were always going to make.
(We won’t get into how I judge everybody so much that I fail to turn inwards and evaluate my own position in the world.. no no… that would be too easy 
)
———
The other side to the fence is that things haven’t worked out, they’ve crashed and burned and i’ve lived. I’ve still managed to get up the next day (as much as I believe you can’t), still gone to work and still functioned in society. Admittedly i’ve been a whiny PITA, but I have pulled through in the end.
- I’ve learnt things
- I’ve made mistakes
- I’ve had fun
I suppose there’s a part of me that wonders how many people hold back and never really see my side of the story. For all the heartache and pain that I have felt at various stages, i’ve also been incredibly blessed to have some of the most amazing, connected experience with members of the opposite sex (no, not sex, connections).
So for all those who think that they shouldn’t rush, or maybe never rush, maybe this is the time to jump in with feet first and see what the waters like. You might crash and burn, but if you don’t try it, you’ll never know how much fun it can be…..
Me… I’m going to continue to take my life one step at a time atm. Slow and steady and all that. I’m meeting people, i’m having fun, i’m drinking 3-4 nights a week so I can’t really complain
Uncategorized