The definition of stupid is this folks: Sulking unnecessarily at your partner after missing (and not seeing) them for a few days.
I managed to pull off the perfect definition of Stupidity last night. I was tired (no excuse) and cranky (definitely no excuse) and just downright being a dick.
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The topic to cause my above-noted stupidity. Trust (how ironic!), or more importantly, the definition of trust whilst in a relationship.
My viewpoint (and the way I was raised) was that the sanctity of partnership (ie, the one, not just anyone off the street) or marriage represented a bond of trust that exceeds that of family, friends, loved ones, and even God. Within that context I don’t believe in secrets, and I expected that anyone who tells me something (”and don’t tell anyone else”) “assumes” that I will tell my partner.
Why you ask?, because they are the same as me on the trust level. There are no hidden secrets, no moments that can’t be shared.
Now don’t get me wrong, there will be a million secrets that I won’t tell my partner, and she will have at least a million that she won’t tell me. But the act of withholding (to me) oversteps a barrier of trust that should be held higher than that of any other person.
Anything less than that (to me) feels almost like a mini betrayal. Almost like ‘You’re not to be trusted with this, even though I forsake you for all others’ ….
But that’s beside the point (hey, this is still my blog, I am allowed to rant about my own opinions on topics!). The point was that I let it become something that it wasn’t, used the word ‘foolish’ (which is foolish in itself).
Compounded by the fact that she apologised this morning and I became immediately caught up in the fact that I had not clarified on plans regarding the w/end, which proceeded to send me into a headspin of ‘why?’.
I SMS’d the girl when I got of the train and apologised, then received a concerned SMS from housemate/cousin about my welfare when I said plans had changed and i’d be home most of the w/end (which I will be).
See how easily things get out of control. All I had to do was let it go.
Today i’m going to work on letting all of this go and have lunch with the girl.
Don’t do why I did today and hold a grudge about something pointless. Remember, they’ve forsaken you over any other.
Adam
