sciron.org/blog

and tired and cranky and unreasonable…. bleh….

My world continues to change around me at a phenomenonal pace and I realise i’m coming into the second stage of my arrival. The imperfection stage.

Where life isn’t as rosy as what you dreamed it to be, you really do have housemates to live with who have different ideas to you and people show all of their true colours.

This can’t honestly be unexpected, but it can be tiring, and with all my personal effects in storage I feel like i’m 7 years old and nobody to hold onto. I am living between my residence where I just want to be able to make lots of noise and crash in bed. Alternatively there is my significant others residence where I am eternally a guest, banished to the realm of unlimited stupidity for I continue to make trivial mistakes due to my inability to simply relax in a place I call my own.

Everything is new and unknown. I know what I know. I know who I love and where I want to go. What I don’t know is everything else. I like stability in my life. I like consistency (within context), and I just want someone to hold me for once and let me realise that it’s not always allright, and that i’m allowed to just be scared.

—

Fuck, that is so hard to say. And now, sitting here at the keyboard i’m trying to hold back tears. I take these things on board and I push myself to the limits. I try to ignore what’s really going on around me but I fail.

I’m still just human.