sciron.org/blog

I’m $3,000+ poorer

Yay!

Adam

Adam Uncategorized rants

So as you could all see, I was more than slightly unsettled before the weekend.

- No personal posessions
- Minor disagreements with certain people
- Lack of attachment to anything

However, the weekend has brought about a significant change.

- Went to dinner with the work kids on Friday night and just enjoyed the company of my new workmates. Also, drinking Stein’s (1 Litre) or beer one tends to relax to a considerable degree.

- Picked up my worldly posessions on Sunday, spent most of Sunday night unpacking and destroying the containers in which said goods arrived (don’t ask)

- Spent time with the girl. This always makes me a happy camper.

—-

A friend of mine is going through a personal dilemma: She is intelligent and well-adjusted but her morals/values place her in a position of being single when she has everything going for her.

This is never a good situation, and it’s never easy to say ‘well, just give it time and it’ll happen when it happens’
Nothing like being able to control your future and not control who you love….

—

This is officially the worst post ever, but i’m running far too short on time so i’ll come back tonight when i’ve got the place to myself and post..

A

Adam Uncategorized rants

and tired and cranky and unreasonable…. bleh….

My world continues to change around me at a phenomenonal pace and I realise i’m coming into the second stage of my arrival. The imperfection stage.

Where life isn’t as rosy as what you dreamed it to be, you really do have housemates to live with who have different ideas to you and people show all of their true colours.

This can’t honestly be unexpected, but it can be tiring, and with all my personal effects in storage I feel like i’m 7 years old and nobody to hold onto. I am living between my residence where I just want to be able to make lots of noise and crash in bed. Alternatively there is my significant others residence where I am eternally a guest, banished to the realm of unlimited stupidity for I continue to make trivial mistakes due to my inability to simply relax in a place I call my own.

Everything is new and unknown. I know what I know. I know who I love and where I want to go. What I don’t know is everything else. I like stability in my life. I like consistency (within context), and I just want someone to hold me for once and let me realise that it’s not always allright, and that i’m allowed to just be scared.

—

Fuck, that is so hard to say. And now, sitting here at the keyboard i’m trying to hold back tears. I take these things on board and I push myself to the limits. I try to ignore what’s really going on around me but I fail.

I’m still just human.

Adam Uncategorized rants

(e-mail sent to me a few minutes ago…)

—

Dude, a while ago you sent out the details of Acer’s online support and seeing it was from you I immediately deleted it.

But now I need it. Send it again and I swear to withhold the survival instincts that force me to auto-erase anything you send me.

—

How lucky am I to have work colleagues like these guys…

Adam

Adam Uncategorized jokes

Now that I have someone in my life, i’m more concerned about the content that I share with the greater universe. Not so much that i’m worried that said partner will find/read my site (she knows it exists, she wouldn’t ask me for the address, she’s cool like that), more that i’m worried what other people will garner from my passionate debacles on these pages.

I’ve noticed that Jessica has gone from ‘nice-if-you’re-too-stupid-to-realise-i’m-living-life’ to ‘you-can’t-possibly-know-this-wasn’t-my-real-personality-in-the-first-place’ and I have to admitt i’m slightly jealous.

I have watched and adored the transformation from sharing and caring, to a heightened crescendo of intimate details (or, at least, the *illusion* of intimate details!), shared fears and general malaise that exists on the cusp of ‘first-met’ to ‘going-steady’ …..

As life would have it, too many things are happening in paralell and i’m just taking that one moment at a time. Also, I can only write from work (my iMac will be with me soon!) so my chances to get down what i’m really feeling are limited. But just for something different, how about I give it a try.

I’m tired and exhausted and happy. I’ve made some mistakes (one big one) and learning very quickly to adjust to the new lifestyle, new pace and new flatmate. Enjoying being with the girl more and more and facing up to the reality that i’m actually having a good time and there’s no need to sabotage things. Friends aren’t as good as i’d like, but I understand that at this point in time there’s a journey that we all need to take. Inevitably (?) our paths will cross again, but right now it’s just going to happen one minute at a time.

—

I’ve become a spending-bitch. New clothes, new toys, new everything. I do all this to come home to the significant other who’s purchased twice as much with half as much money because she uses the big sales-warehouses… …

me = stupid male with credit card, slightly better taste than 6 months ago and no brains.

she = girl with less money (relatively speaking), more brains and significantly better taste than i’ve ever accounted for.

—

I miss Rachel. Strange really that I knew her for so little time and pissed her off severely when I wasn’t honest with quite a few people. But she’s cool and cute (ed: yes, I said ‘cute’ just because I can see it pissing her off, albeit in a ‘cute’ way ) and funny and there’s always more under the surface than what appears.

I’ve always been curious to know what it’s like when the world thinks your innocent when you’re really kinked… hmmmmm

Ok.. dump done. There’s some other great news I heard today but I can’t share (it goes like that sometimes) but hopefully we’ll be hearing more of it in the future.

Loving all your work
A

p.s – yes, I know I talk endlessly about opening up more. I’m working at it… I promise

Adam Uncategorized rants

$69.95 US … that’s what it would cost to upgrade this website from MT 2.661 to 3.0 …..

It costs me $30 p/a to supply this entire website to a few thousand visitors …

hmmm.. think i’ll be sticking with the free version. Does everything that I want, and i’m sure there will be plenty of weblogs out there with my sentiment in mind

—

Though concurrent to this, I just don’t get how people are suddenly up in arms about the loss of ‘their’ free product. These are the same users, hauled onto the bandwagon after the founders of the company put their lives on hold to support the unappreciated masses.

Great products come out all the time for free, but for them to grow and evolve someone needs to open their wallets and pay. Though far too expensive for me (and plenty of open-source alternatives will always be around), it’s still a fantastic product that in reality is incredibly cheap.

(ed: yes, i’m well aware I contradicted myself. But for a writer or author, that expense is only minor compared to the benefits it can provide. For me, it’s difficult because I have seven authors [six of who never post ], but one of the sole reasons I started using MT was for it’s multi-author functionality and great price.)

—

Well, you were all actually going to get a decent post today, but the girl has called (late) to tell me she’ll be at the station in 2 minutes. Whilst writing is a great release, a Thai dinner, couple of beers and indulgent snuggles are far higher on my agenda.

Loving all your work
Adam

Adam Uncategorized rants

I just took the option of a redraw on my personal loan, so in a couple of days i’ll be $4k richer and then $4k poorer when I order my iMac from Apple.

…. *more drool*

Adam

Adam Uncategorized rants

I have pages and pages in my head, but not enough time (or inclination) to get them down into sciron.org format. Basically the weekend was fantastic, and I learnt the value of having an argument and then making up

Other than that, moved in, signed up to every internet-enabled site I could find (hmm, groceries online….. ) and started to unpack in the new house. New housemate is fantastic and within the next couple of weeks I should have sold my car, bought my new PC, hooked up to the ‘net and generally surrounded myself in the lifestyle that is Sydney.

Meanwhile, i’m taking my ever-increasing waistline back to the pool for some (very cold) laps. Expect to see new-and-improved Monday night posts on my status next week.

p.s – Just in case you were wondering, the argument was over how hot the car gets in the first few minutes of driving. (yes, earth-shattering stuff this is folks…) … sorry to disappoint if you thought it was even remotely interesting

Adam Uncategorized rants

I sat outside last night on the deck and took a moment to recollect my only vivid memory of the nighttime sky. I remember being a child when Halley’s Comet was gracing us with it’s visible presence, and I was awoken on a couple of nights to go outside and witness the raw beauty that life presents us with.

I sat outside last night on the deck and took to looking at the stars, to enjoy the beauty of not living in a city, to enjoying the wide open spaces of a property and reminiscing about moments lost, and new moments to be found.

I’m excited now, excited and numb and passionate about the next steps. Logistically i’ll just be happy when I have all my items ready to unpack, my new PC in hand and some time to head out and make some use of my new camera. Romantically i’ll be happy to be in one place, able to make plans for successive evenings and not needing to be 100% all.the.damned.time. I’m looking forward to vegging out and not feeling guilty.

I spent my last night in my home last night. My return will bring me back to house, a house filled with memories and love and laughter, but a house no less.

I’m looking forward to calling Sydney home.

Adam

Adam Uncategorized rants

- My New Camera

- Yay

- I have still not been sleeping. This is my world. Fret over tiny things but consistently be able to manage large-scale IT networks. Go figure.

- I honestly just wish that it was all over. I wish that it was Thursday so that i’m down there and can just start to re-adjust. Actually, I want it to be next Monday so that i’m at work, doing work, keeping busy. Not sitting here waiting for ‘it’ to happen.

- ‘It’ is happening, we’re all just in negotiations atm… read: ‘they’ are in negotiations about what I will be doing…. I just wish they’d hurry and up and tell me so I can start doing it and start relaxing a whole lot more

- Friday nights party (going away bash/first year anniversary party) was quite funny…

– Broke my phone (yay for breaking a work mobile and not my own)
– There is even *more* politics involved in me getting a new (decent)phone.. but we’lll deal with that even later again.
– Eve: This by no means it is you. I mean more along the lines of the bosses… bleh…

– (feels like) I broke my kneecap and shoulder. Yay for chiropractic fees

– Broke my heart. Just wanted to be able to make the world right but couldn’t
– Thanks to all the people who came up to me with special somethings (not *that* special!)
– Thanks for all those who’ve put up with me, i’ve enjoyed all of it. (yes, even the bad stuff)

- Got a comment from Rach… you do not know how good this made me feel today. *hugs* .. hope you’re having a smashing time babe!

- Miss hugs from the girl….. *sigh*

- Tired… must try to sleep…

A

Adam Uncategorized rants