I have taken a few minutes to excuse myself from another family barbeque/get-together/drinking session and I can’t but help feel the overwhelming weight of joy/pain that is my life to date within this family model.
Not that I haven’t overall had an amazing experience, but the bittersweet feelings attached with being at one of the final family BBQ’s has me to thinking of all the great, and all the not-so-great experiences to bring me to where I am today.
I am blessed to have the girl with me this weekend. She arrived on a jetplane (bad song reference included) and I’ve taken her on a personal journey through some of the more interesting segments of my life through a series of mini road-trips to help her to understand the person she is with. I have inevitably bombarded her senses to maximum capacity, though I feel a strong desire for her to understand some of my past, where I came from and what makes me tick.
That’s how she is one of the few people to ever be involved in a (insert family name here) family BBQ.
The sadness at moments is completely overwhelming, and there are many moments that I wish I was in control of certain situations and people, but my goal still remains to let each person live as they are, to be happy, to make mistakes and to have support when they need it. I know I certainly need it.
For these moments are now few and far between, I want to wrap myself in the warmth of great conversation, random hugs and general debauchery that is associated with the family model that I have been blessed to be included in.
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Tomorrow and sends us on a journey to meet the friends. I think that she’s scared but I’ll be there for her and just hope we all enjoy ourselves.
I know i’m certainly going to try to.
Loving all your work
A
p.s - Sorry for the lack of updates, it’s been one hectic week and in the next few days i’ll have a definitive answer on my employment status. From there I may be updating very regularly or very little dependent on my cashflow situation.
22:06 on April 26th, 2004
well, i disagree you are there for people when they need it. It seems and no offence to jen, but it seems when she came on the scene you left some people that trusted you for dead. You say you were a great friend, and people have impossible barriers, but even a good friend can see when someones hurting and knows to be patient, thus making them a good friend. this is a quality you believe you have but evidence would seem to support the opposite.