Without honour
My actions of the past few weeks have not been along an honourable path. I have betrayed some of the basic rules of disclosure with someone who deserved to be made aware of certain changes in my life.
There was a time, quite some time now, when I made a promise that I knew in my heart that I should never have made and could never really keep. That promise has come back to haunt me (as karma has a way of doing) and for one of the first (if not the first) time(s) in my life i’ve had to break that promise.
Though I can’t prevent what I feel, I have not taken responsibility to face up to the consequences of my actions. For this I am ashamed of myself and I do not ask for forgiveness, yet I write this as the first step in an acceptance/healing path which I now need to undertake.
The side-affects of my decisions have been strong and I’ve found myself turning my thought processes internally, not sharing with those who have been open, honest and loyal to me the same level of respect.
So to Matt, Dan, Caraxus, Eve, Rach, J, C, H and anybody(everybody) else i’ve forgotten, I apologise, without reservation. Certain details will be bought to light over the following days and I understand if your loyalties to certain people mean that we don’t have the contact that I would have originally hoped. For your choices I will not be angry or upset and I respect your need to make that decision.
If I had been enough of an adult about it, I most likely wouldn’t be in this position.
Lesson learnt.
Adam
Uncategorized
Wat can I say… it?s not up to anyone else to judge your actions & you?re the only one who knows the reasons for how you?ve acted…
In saying that though I?m human & all I can say is I was quite sad not to mention angry to hear about the results of last few weeks…
I?m not there, I don?t know the full story…
One thing I can say though is that friendships are one of the most important things in life (it?s really hit home for me since I?ve been in Peru by myself). Don?t let them fall by the wayside…
You’re absolutely right Rach. What I did do was wrong and there’s a story attached for how things happened.
I am suffering the consequences of my actions and although I wish to have handled things different i’m still happy (if that makes sense).
I would like to write and say i’m sorry for how I feel about the girl, but I’m honestly not. I am however sorry for the way I treated the affected person.
I ask for no forgiveness from others but have forgiven myself. Sometimes that’s all you can do.
Adam
p.s – fwiw I miss you heaps Rach and wish you were still here. I hope you’re having a great time and keeping busy!
A
Hey,
I wrote this whole comment back to you on Thrusday but it didn?t save it.
The gist of it was you?re missing the point you siad “I would like to write and say i’m sorry for how I feel about the girl, but I’m honestly not.”
Honey, it?s got nothing to do with how you feel about the girl. Its got everything to do about the betrail of a friendship…
Its just sad thats all, really sad.