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2003: year of the bad lay…..

uhhuh
I received a call today from a very close friend who had informed me that he had been witness to a conversation from somebody who i’d slept with last year (uhhuh honey, yes, it’s you, you know who you are :)).

Let me say in the most unequivocal sense: it was awful. No, awful doesn’t do it justice. It was 2, maybe 3 minutes of barely primal, alcoholically induced (heavily alcoholically induced) primal lust which as quickly as it started became a fear-inflicted rendition of my worst sexual nightmares.

I was a bad lay folks. (ok, because you can’t see me, you’re probably thinking .. ‘wtf!’…. but i’m smiling here like a cheshew cat.. I mean it really is funny when I think back on it). And she was right. Actually, her quote was that i’d made my way into her ‘top 5 worst lays of all time’ .. what an accolade. *smile*

Now… because i’m spiteful…. and .. oh hang on.. I just don’t give a fuck anymore (hahaha) …. let me share with you some details to the visitors who grace this page…..
She actually did come back a second time. After I practically begged forgiveness of her, told her I was so out of my face I could barely see my hand in front of my face and mentally I was in the worst place you could imagine.
I left early that night… early because I didn’t want to get in trouble, but she showed up on my doorstep, and it happened, again.
….. well at least she proved I was a bad lay when I was sober as well hehe

Want to know what’s even worse… I slept with other people… guess what, it was really bad with them to… all my fault ….. bleh bleh bleh.. awful awful awful….

I mean honestly, when you’re ex tells you straight out that things weren’t so good sexually you’ve got to start to wonder where your ego’s going don’t you …… (yes, she really did say I was bad in the sack…. yeah, she was probably right)…..

several months later……

I actually found out what was going on, and if you’ve been reading carefully (over the past months) (uhhuh, I can dream :)) you’d realise that i’ve gone through qutie a change, found a lot of peace and generally i’m significantly happier.

I’m also happy to say that the experience I wrote about a couple of days ago was very real (well, ok, maybe it was real quite a few times :)), I am quite capable of handing over multiple orgasms before the act begins and have confidence in myself sexually that i’ve not known since I was 17 and carefree about the whole thing.

Point being, I wanted to share with you. Nothing gets a rumour-monger down quicker than the person admitting the whole thing, so i’m really just trying to steal their moment away :). Ironically enough I hope that the girl who made the comments is happy and she’s having fun along the way….

I know I now certainly am
side note: my Sydney trip…. hot damn …. whatever confidence I needed restored (i’d done the celibate thing until I got my shit together), it was definitely repaired on those 10 days away….. thankyou one and all to the amazing ladies when I was down (well… literally as it would be! :))

ps - it’s not hard to tell i’m an emotional one. If my heart isn’t in it, my body just don’t work the way it’s supposed to. Of course couple that with severe committment phobia and you’ve got some bad bad vibes going down. But i’m getting there, one sexual experience at a time