Please understand …
So as I sit here at work (again) half-pissed, mentally and emotionally unstable from the violent mix of desires, hungers and fears I start to contemplate the nature of relationships, on any level.
I have had the opportunity to read the exquisite book ?The Bride Stripped Bare? which is a brilliant mix of sexuality, sensuality and passion rolled under the guise of an anonymous British author sharing with the world her deepest, darkest sexual secrets via way of exploration and exploitation. I was riveted from cover to cover.
However, the point most poignant to me was the slip in the book which states ?A brilliant book of love and passion, which asks, can you ever really know another person?
Never a truer word was spoken with that last part.
I have lived a life believing that my parents had a perfect relationship? not that everything was perfect, by no means, but a perfect understanding of each other. It is only in the past few months that I?ve realised that there are things they know not of each other and that?s still ok.
I have secrets, secrets so deep I hide them from myself. I realised just a week ago that I will most likely never share these with my partner, nor do I need to.
To love someone is to take their life in your hands from ?today? ? and forevermore? you don?t judge them based on the past, just live and accept that some journeys need to be taken to bring them to you. Fear is the driver that separates most of us. This fear is exaggerated when it comes to loved ones and family.
My life is continuing to spiral in directions I?d never really considered. The painful reality of re-adjusting my friendships to more realistic levels is a hard road that I?ve had to make hard decisions on. I never want to hurt people but realise that in this life there are always going to be hurt. I have been hurt so many times in my past but I understand and respect that it really was the for the best, no matter how much I?d like to think otherwise.
Please know that I do this with a dark heart but also understand it?s of necessary requirement that I do what I do. I wish there was some way I could make it perfect, but alas, it is not to be.
Uncategorized