So why does my heart feel so bad
Casey and Matt both indicated that I shouldn’t be sweating the small stuff, and all of my issues are just a matter of small problems which appear to be larger than their individual segments.
They are 100% correct.
However, that doesn’t mean that the weight of some of the issues isn’t bearing down on me at this point (read: i’m whining like crazy just because I have to sort through a few things simultaneously!)…
I am working on it and I understand that more than one person has suffered over this due to my lack of commitment to even get out of bed and that there will be repercussions when I come back to reality. I’m starting to get a good feel for what’s happening inside my head, and I am going to go through the motions, but i’m almost 100% sure that most of them will be resolved by the time of my return.
Exactly what happens on my week away is still unknown to me, but i’m looking forward to finding out and moving on with the next chapter of my life.
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ed: that doesn’t indicate that anything is going to change, just that … well things are going to change.. for better or for worse i’m really not sure, just call it a feeling inside.
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For the lovely e-mails and comments that you’ve left, I am very grateful. I also apologise to you as I know that I haven’t even begun to disclose most of what’s going on inside my head. Seemed appropriate for me to work out what I was feeling before I try to articulate it to anyone else.
This trip has been long overdue. I will be switching off my work mobile (all of those who know and love me know my personal mobile number!) and really just taking some time out to chill and consider my next moves both professionally and personally. I know where the next steps are, it’s sometimes difficult to get off my own ass and accept the changes that are coming.
The people that have seen these many changes are probably more in tune with change than the person actually making the changes, and I am, as ever, in awe that they are still around to enjoy the next ‘segment’ of my journey.
And Casey, i’m trying not to find any more ‘the one’s’ for quite some time yet! .. look, i’ve gone 6 whole months without anyone, not too bad for an amateur!
Matt: Dude.. travel, go .. be free and then become the lean-mean policeman machine you’ve always wanted to be. And I expect a free ride in your first cop car 
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Talk to you all soon. (and yes, the new design is coming, it’s just a ‘waiting’ process as i’ve decided to pick holidays at exactly the worst moment ever!)
Adam
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