the nature of sex, relationships and commitment according to adam
I’ve been lying in bed thinking about this in great detail for the past hour, here’s a guarantee that it won’t articulate to the written form as well as in my mind.
When it comes to the women in my life, i’m driven inexplicably by arousal, fear, lust and a general myriad of conflicting thoughts which are constantly swirling in my mind, each fighting for precious time in my conscious thoughts, daring me to follow their whims and desires.
I crave and lust after contact, but as soon as it comes within my grasp, I reel away in fear, angst and humiliation as I succumb desperately to the self-doubts which plague my thoughts about my own sexual prowress.
I do understand that fear is a major driver of these emotions. I am fearful of committing, fearful of failure and fearful of rejection if i’m not to match up and subsequently my subconscious indiscriminately massacres my conscious thoughts so badly that any experience with me, after so much hype and innuendo are nothing short of terrible. The partner in question usually stunned to find that the interior by no means matches the exterior, with their bewilderment like a strong perfume. They can’t begin to wonder how they got me so wrong.
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