:sciron.org/blog

INSTRUCTIONS:

Anaesthetize your wife/girlfriend, put her in a large carton (don’t forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will receive 823,542 women through the post. Statistically, among those women, will be at least: 0.5 miss worlds, 2.5 models, 463 wild nymphos, 3,234 good-looking nymphos,20,198 who enjoy multiple orgasms and 40,198 bi-sexual women. In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited, and tastier than the grumpy old bag you posted off. And, best of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you.

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER.

One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial expression on her face. On the same day, the international supermodel he’d been living with since the sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his best friend (to Whom he had not sent the chain letter). While I am sending this letter, the bloke that is in 6th place above me has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from exhaustion. Outside his ward are 452 more packages.

YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS E-MAIL.

This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying sex life. No expensive meals out, no lengthy conversations about trivialities (that only interest women) just so that you can screw her. No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law , and no unpleasant surprises like marriage or engagement. Do not hesitate……..send this letter today to 9 of your friends.

PS. - Even when you have no girlfriend, you can send your vacuum cleaner.
PPS. - This letter can also be copied to women you know so that they can prepare themselves for the great adventure that they may soon undertake.

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Ok, i’m a blog-bitch and i’m doing the Friday Five

1. …song? No Doubt - It’s My Life

2. …food? Camembert cheese

3. …tv show? Simpsons

4. …scent? of a woman

5. …quote? You get one opportunity at life, but if you do it well then once is enough!

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At moments like this I feel an undefined level of frustration to articulate my dynamic thought process into static html, but i’ll give it a shot.

I’m constantly excited by the interconnecting relationship between objects, and in particular the statistical context of how objects are linked together. Within that framework, and as a primary example, i’ve always been a huge fan of the the Six degrees theory. Not so much for it’s pragmatic application, but moreso the symbiotic link between humans in such a small web.
Friends and lovers know neighbours and parents, we are linked in a tight cocoon, whilst separated by physical, mental and emotional barriers.

This leads me to wonder and remain in awe that i’ve had an opportunity to be so close yet so far from amazing people. A simple connection of the phone started a (sure-to-be) lifelong friendship with Eve. This has led to me meeting Caraxus, and no doubt Slumper and a horde of otherwise completely disconnected individuals.

Inevitably our lives will link on various social schemas, in others we will remain distant. But that is the power of expanding ones knowledge base. Meet people of equal ideals, though different methodologies. We grow and prosper and learn and accept. I love that blogging has allowed me the opportunity to inadequately express what goes on in my mind.

A perfect example is the aformentioned blogging theory. I started one day because I had web space and a domain. After chatting to Eve about it she started up. I invited others to write in my blogs, and now Wonton and Rach have their own blogs, where they will interact with others and share their individual experiences. Now Eve has people in her life purely from the electronic world. (and I do recall Eve making quite the rant about feeling like a ‘dick’ and a ‘nerd’ for meeting someone online…. how quickly the tables turn)

I am linked with these people but as little as a desire to publish thoughts, though on several deeper levels I share intrinsic values, ideals and social constructs. What an amazing time we are living in.

An extension and direct link of that is this site. I encourage everyone to buy at least one book and place it ‘out there’ for others to share, maybe you’ll come up with my book one day. A perfect utilisation of technology in parallel to sociology. Makes me a little giddy thinking that all this nerdy crap might actual have some social benefits.

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In reverence to the company that started the phenomenon (note: I am well aware that the first online blogger presence could possibly be attributed to pitas.com, but blogger made it mainstream) that would start a personal publishing revolution. Well done guys.

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Speaking of interconnections. I am having the best time playing with the ‘Smart Playlist’ option in iTunes. Problem is that these playlists (particularly those that accurately track play count) will take some serious play time on my behalf to get a ‘Top 25 most played’ and more importantly ‘Top 100 most played’ lists with any real quality and depth.

Does that make sense? Because a song that’s been played 4 times isn’t necessarily a classic or a favourite, but I can’t artificially inflate the figures (note: I could rate every song I know, but damm that, I want ‘play count’ to say 120 against my favourite songs!)

I also took the time to delete 5 years worth of music downloads, and just rip all my purchased CD’s into my collection. Not too exciting though I’ll start to add friends music collections into the fray very soon to produce a decent sub-section of music that i’ll enjoy.

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Oh yeah.. before I go….. dude, how dare you say there’s no room for some (light) teeth action when receivi g some oral pleasure. Sad sad boy……

Are you telling me you don’t like some appropriately applied fingernails to your back when in the middle of ecstasy-inducing sexual encounters?

Fine line between pleasure and pain folks, fine line indeed…

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Loving all your work
Adam

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- I’ve been asked to swear less. I’ve been swearing less in general, but now I need to make a more concerted effort at work as well (in the lunchroom to be precise)

- I like swearing but don’t like the volume of my (foul) language

- I learnt way too much about periods, menstrual cycles and other bodily functions as a young teenager. Growing up with a swag of female horseriders will do this to you. Of course they know far too much about morning wood, the blue balls sydnrome and what’s it’s like to ride horse bareback when you’re a guy (or at least how contorted my face gets when undertaking aformentioned activity)

- What do you do with a drunken sailor?

- Why haven’t I received any e-mails today?

- Why can’t I get these last minor issues resolved so that i’m perfectly happy with the site layout….

- Why do I know that as soon as they are resolved i’ll find something else (equally difficult) to take up the next six months of my life….

- Why is Eve so cruel….

- Oh, hang on, I know why.. because she’s tetchy and not getting any *snigger* - Love ya’ babe

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I’m off to bed, but not before torturing you with this gem….

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This first section of my post is dedicated to my dear friend Dana and her fanfic-addicted ways.

On every occasion that I take myself to her site (note: we miss out on all the gory details, most of her posts are locked) i’m always left to thinking that I have the broadest subsection of friends, and though I wouldn’t have it any other way, i’m still in awe of the relatively benign nature of my existence.

Of course Dana will blab about my ‘ranting about your own existential angst when in reality you’re just another semite with blogspace’ but at times I fear that peoples obsessions with non-reality (or as I should be lead to believe, ‘truth that heathens like yourself know not’) creep on their abilities to enjoy the real world.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know Dana rather well and i’d step in front of a bus for her, but her ability to construct meaningful (and hidden) homosexual relationships from ‘man-hugs’ and other simple body contact means that I must have humbly been in several thousand relationships in my time.

… if only in my own head huh?
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I’m becoming my father folks. I’ve started handing out (unsolicited) advice on Internet forums…… i’m going to hell for sure….

But while i’m here, I really want to tell you all about…………

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The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father’s details: These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check number 11, it takes the prize.

(editors note: genuine excerpts… hmmmm …. )

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

04. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I’d have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.

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Our site (work, not web) is having a really low day today. Unfortunately I can’t (and won’t) go into the specifics, but i’m sure everyone has been in a workplace where particularly unpleasant actions have occurred, and you’re essentially powerless to stop them.

It’s this feeling that has been swelling today, and I know that all parties involved would like things to be different, but there’s nothing that we can do about it.

Here’s hoping today rears us a better outlook.

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Onto happier things, it appears as if Michelle from M Jones Consulting aka ‘The Body Shop’ will be looking after the redesign of the sciron.org! (exclamation mark excluded :))

…. After a couple of initial e-mails and some inspiration derived from some amazing blogs, Michelle has gone off to do her thing and hopefully make some magic (at least in the graphics department).

Y’all be watching this space as there will be downtime of possibly (probably) a couple of days, though hopefully less than a week. E-Mail should be seamless but the site overhaul is significant (well, at least in my books) though the changes should usher in a new era of snazzy looks dumbed down by my incessant ramblings
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The next phase of my fitness strategy is coming into play. I’m starting swimming again within the next couple of days. Ironically enough I was just about to go down for a ‘casual’ afternoon swim to get myself back into the mood, the rain settles in.

Maybe god is telling me something….. more likely just bad luck
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Ahh yes….. the wonderful and talented Rach has gone the way of everybody else I know that writes here and started her own web page…… I’m losing authors like i’m losing brain cells. … at this rate i’ll be clinically dead in a couple of years … or worse still, living in Bundaberg (jokes!)

So… open a second browser, deliver yourself from evil and have a laugh at my expense
Loving all your work
Adam

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Rach was under the impression that I was going to sass about her lack of disclosure about wanting only a casual relations ip with a boy who (by definition) is going to become attached (yes, I was 23 once.. :))

That was the old Adam… the new Adam is more ‘live and let live folks’….

Or at least i’m still trying to convince myself of that fact….

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I’m going to have a whinge now…

People who complain about something that’s free and doesn’t work 100% of the time….

Of course my reference is to those Internet services which volunteers dedicated buttloads (i’m putting buttloads out there) of time, money (theirs, not yours) and pain to then be senselessly abused at every turn as they attempt to make your lives a little more interesting.

If you pay for a service… fine… go ahead and whinge (in the appropriate medium!), I respect that. But get something for free and it’s a gift. It might not always be exactly what you want, but guess what, you smile and be thankful that someone has done it for you.

I personally know that Diaryland is a monstrosity of hardware, technical expertise and a serious cash-drain on Andrews pocket (he’s just started to right-side that and hopes to have everything paid off in the next year or so), but people think that their ISP fees give them rights to whine from the outset at any 47 second outage.

And frankly kids, it pisses me off.

No such thing as a free lunch.. never has and never will be.

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*breathe out* …. phew
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[content removed]

Moral of the story: If two people just aren’t going to agree on something then you should let it go…
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Which of course raises the next topic that i’ll write about…. what boundaries do we each have in our lives?

As mentioned earlier some of my friends are horrified at some of the discussions that I have with people who I work with. To me we’re just openly discussing important topics, or topics that we find highly amusing. But where do we draw the line and say ‘that’s enough’ .. I mean I despise racism, violence and those stupid Japanese cartoons like Dragonball-Z, but what about everyone else?

When does discussing 90 of the 101 sexual-zen positions become outside of good taste? If the discussion is about sterilising women in Africa to control birth rate are we really pushing the boundaries?

I happily adapt to the environment I work/live in, but I do know that i’ll generally always have a segment of my personality which people find offensive. It’s a constant battle in my own mind to diffuse what’s reality (ie what is in poor taste) and what’s simply prejudice from external sources and ’societal values’ …..

We did come from the readings of the bible as the law to a much more relaxed view to spirituality, but when is it too much…

I don’t think any of us have the answer.

Feeling the love of everyone elses work Adam

p.s - For those that saw the original post I was a)having the last word in an argument and b)bitching about something I believe in, but both of these could be construed as a personal attack which was not my motivation.

a)I’ve removed all references
b)I’ve left the statement in about ‘free rides’ because I believe in it, i’m just no referencing my original motivation

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Well, I really don’t want to say this for obvious reasons - but I should have done exactly what Adam told me to do (I can hear the I told u so’s already…) but I chickened out. I just couldn’t do it, how the hell do you slip it in to conversation?? “umm, by the way I just want to have a casual ‘thing’ with you so don’t get attached….”.

Couldn’t do it, every way I looked at it, it just sounded pompous. I did manage to slip my views on relationships in to the conversation on a couple of occasions though and he said a few things which I thought were quite promising.
One was the term “play buddies” which I assumed is a nicer way of saying f@ck buddies & the other was “at least I know where I stand with you”. Which made me think I kinda got my point across. I should have been a bit pro active with that last comment & asked him where he thought he stood, but I didn’t.

Anyway, I was feeling kinda good about it all on Thursday, then at 10.30am (2 hours after I last saw him) I get this txt “Thanx 4 the best night sweetie… I’m feeling on top of the world, I hope u have a unreal day and I’ll talk 2u 2night…xxx”. I basically went “Oh, shit” Anyway, we had a quick chat Thursday night, he sent me a few txt’s over the weekend & at one stage wanted to call me but I didn’t respond to that message… & he’s going to give me a buzz tonight. Friends txt & call each other, right? We get on really well. No big deal…

I did followed through on point no. 2 of Adam’s txt “No more outings, gives him the wrong idea”. We just ended up getting take away & staying in.

Oh & just in case you’re wondering, it was only 4 times - we did have to eat & I did have work the next day :o)

Also, before I leave you, I just have to say I had a fantastic weekend! I took Friday off work so had a extra, extra long weekend & met up with a friend in Byron Bay. Byron’s awesome! The weather was perfect! I had a blast! & dancing on the tables at Cheeky Monkeys rocks! But can I just say I’ll never get males (I think that’s already obvious form what I’ve written above but there’s more to it).

What in god’s name does a guy (sorry, that should read ‘drunk guy’) think he’s going to accomplish by going up to a girl & going “you’re hot” & telling her to kiss him? Then pestering her all night after she says no? Ok, granted if he were cute it might work… but seriously, I feel like I have “LOSERS NEED ONLY APPLY” sign stuck to my forehead, that & “NO ONE OVER 23 NEED APPLY”. I know I supposedly look young but when 18 year olds are trying to pick you up, it’s like, “Honey, I’m almost 10 years older than you!!!”. Talk about frustrating!! I spose it’s a good thing that I’m not looking for a relationship huh.

Well I better get back to work. I know I’ve been rambling on for ages, sorry if boredom’s set in, but in short there are 2 more things that rate a mention.

Things I did for the first time this weekend -
1: sunbathed topless. Very liberating! plenty of 30+ sunscreen was on hand
2: got very stoned in Nimbin. I met a local there & at first I was a little wary of him as he was missing a few front teeth & looked a pretty dodgy but we got talking & he brought my friend & I a drink at a ’smoking’ cafe, it was very cool!

I’ll end this post by saying that I’m very tired at the moment. I got back to Sydney at 7am this morning & started work & 8.30am. My brain is not really functioning so if this post makes no sense please for give me!

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I’ve had some of the closest people in my life approach me over the past couple of days to inform me that i’ve reverted back to some of my old behavioral patterns. Mainly my ‘my-story-is-better-than-yours’ that comes when i’m at a distance with people I care about.

Now I could run off into page-long diatribes of how i’m really protecting myself from letting people close, or essentially just stating facts because I pride myself on my abilities to attack a difficult situation with the tenacity required to be successful at it. Realistically though i’m just being a pain in the ass, strutting with a one-upmanship mentality that’s really not required around those that I care about. Their exploits and life experiences are just as worthy as my own and i’m proud of their achievements, no matter how small.

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Only 9 more months and i’m debt free

Sold the jetski…. excluding day-to-day expenses (of $30 an hour for fuel, plus travel costs) the jetski cost me almost $400 an hour to run since I bought it. Don’t you just love the Australian dollar gaining 25% on the US since I first purchased my jetski. Had things remained stable it would have cost me about $100 an hour….

Write that one off as a bad investment and try to keep my irrational spending to limited quantities both now and in the future….. hmmm, of course there is paragliding….
p.s - I had an amazing time with the jetski and don’t regret purchasing it for a second (though I should). I have, and will always remain a water-baby, and the link between man, machine and mother nature is a beautiful and terrifying experience all at the same time. Had my plans been for a permanent stay in the Bundaberg region (no, i’m not planning to go anywhere yet!) remained constant, then my investment would have been minimal. But alas, it was not to be. I wish the new owners all the fun in the world, I know I certainly enjoyed it!

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iTunes iTunes iTunes, we love you!

Well for those that haven’t discovered that iTunes is gods gift if you have a large music collection, get up and moving right now and download pure beauty in raw form.

From brilliant self-management of files/folders/genres, to 1-click burning, 1-click importing and a brilliant selection of streaming media sites i’m officially a happy camper. This is the first time since Winamp 2.0 came out that i’ve had a change of preference in media playback.

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