- You reconcile 4 months worth of Credit Card transactions in one day and realise where all your money has gone
- You spend most of the weekend inside an air-conditioned room, just because you bought one
- You *don’t* go on a fabulous road trip because one of your friends is too lazy to go
- You eat too much Pizza and continue to complain about how you’ve put on weight
- You’re awake at 2am writing in your blog
- You haven’t purchased a single present for any of those you care about (yes, i’m cracking, i’m buying some presents dammit!)
- You’re still not confident if you’ve tied up *every* last loose end at work before you go away
- You worry that you need to be perfect in relation to the above statement
I’m not sure how long this post will last. It’s really only intended for one person, and they know who they are.
Who knows really. I’m still stumbling along a lot of the time making twice as many mistakes as the things i’m getting right. Significant changes are still only moment behind me, and the tunnel seems longer than I can comprehend.
Pragmatism would be my answer, that’s why i’m doing it. But maybe it’s for other reasons, maybe i’m trying to scare her away. Maybe I just want to love for a while. The connections within my life are tight. Compressed by my intense relationships that are formed and my obsession for perfection means that many a casualty are left in my wake.
I don’t want to get it wrong, but I ‘am’ being pragmatic. I would do the same for others and not think twice about it. Why is this occassion any different.
The answers to that are always clear. A test… that’s what it is .. a test… Can I do it, am I made of the right stuff or do I falter again and return to my comfort zone. My independence levels are strong, and my ability to keep people distanced remains everpresent in my mind. Maybe this is one more step to breaking down those barriers in the only way I know.
Maybe I just don’t know.
Breasts
Breasts of size greater than a C Cup that is.
Why is it that this portion of the population is not catered for when it comes to lingerie?!?!?!
Now as you can tell in my earlier posts, i’m definitely a fan of the female form in all of it’s incantations. My major obsessions when it comes to the opposite sex are:
non-physical = sense of humour, personality, attitude
physical = soft skin, curves, great rack
(now before we go any further, I find beauty in all females, but if I was asked to pick favourites they are the things that stir my …. interests :))
* That Adam stop harassing me to post here, I have nothing to say, being a girl though I will try.
* That someone would buy me a genuine Hermes Birkin bag, red or black please.
* That Adam would get laid or just a blow job, anything really.
* That I come back from holidays as brown as a mocca coffee, minus the skin cancer.
* That my sister get over being heartbroken by the Dr. After all he is an arrogant wanker.
* That I get to see Adam more this year.
* That I don’t have to spend one more day on reception.
* That I don’t fuck up at uni and I become an awesome kick-arse lawyer who doesn’t take people up the arse for money.
* That Dr Harry comes and visits my cat Lily, she’s got problems.
* That I actually start my Christmas shopping tonight so I don’t end up having a panic attack in some shopping centre on Christmas Eve, again.
* That I get to see all my family i want to see and none that I don’t.
* That Adam would stop being such a tight arse and buy me the said Hermes bag, I mean honey it’s only $20,000.
* That wearing flat shoes didn’t automatically make you feel all lesbiany and dwarf-like.
That is all, I don’t think thats too much to ask.
Oh, and
* World peace, that would be kinda cool. First step take down George Dubya, appoint Michael Moore.
Now, that is definitely all.
UK power company Powergen have opened business in Italy and for some odd reason, chosen the logical domain name.
www.powergenitalia.com
Click here
I need a moment to relfect on this one. And boys aren’t meant to cry….
Adam
Air conditioning unit is being installed as we speak. Against my instructions to put the unit over -> (that) side of the window, he has decided that placing the unit right on top of my bed (literally) is going to be much more efficient.
At my funeral i’ll be known as the guy who died from air conditioning-related frost bite.
But what can you do, has to be better than 42 degrees Celsius at 3 in the morning. Maybe now i’ll even be luck to get a girl to come back to my unit and do crazy adult-like stuff with me (it’s been so long i’ve forgotten what it’s called).
Ok, call me crazy, but……
How far did he think he was going to walk?
Was he hoping to find a shop or something?
NEWS.com.au | Dead tourist had 80L of water (December 17, 2003)
Maybe I am a bit harsh given I have lived in this country all my life… I know it’s big, I know redbacks are bad, I know Koalas will tear your face off if you’re not careful.
But I must pose this question…. how dumb are you to drive in the desert, get stuck (this happens to the best of us), and then leave good shelter, food and water?!?!?!?!
I guess it’s natural selection.
I’d like to say that the above statement isn’t a revelation to me, but each and every time that something cosmic occurs, i’m always left wondering.
I should probably expel more energy and do one of those ‘mega-memory’ courses I always see those late-night t.v gurus advertising when only religious (uplifiting!) escapism or informercials are the only items attacking our senses.
Christmas is here folks.. and it’s basically a week away. So after organising to head down to see the family and friends, i’m going to take a few seconds to reflect on some of the crazy shit that happened this year… Of course this will be the first ‘i’m at work and don’t want to do work’ version, with a longer ‘i’m no longer at work and don’t want to do work but feel the need to blog’ version. Remembering that the ’super extended not-before-seen-@-sciron.org because i’m not at wrok, bored, need something to write in my blog and correct all the mistakes i made in the past two versions’ post.
Why do I let my fears completely take over any aspect of rational thinking when it comes to someone I ‘like’…..
I tried to push her away last night, tried incredibly hard in fact. This time (for reasons unknown) she didn’t run, promised to talk to me again tonight. I’m not quite sure I know how to deal with that.
I made no commitments of love never-ending, no poems of desperation of death if she’s not by my side, no eternal truths of life, the universe and everything if she doesn’t commit to me. She just promised to talk to me tonight.
She listened and didn’t cajole me for my rash behaviour. She was honest and open, shared reasons for some of her actions and promised to talk to me tonight.
