mistakes made, but lessons learnt?
I’m not sure how long this post will last. It’s really only intended for one person, and they know who they are.
Who knows really. I’m still stumbling along a lot of the time making twice as many mistakes as the things i’m getting right. Significant changes are still only moment behind me, and the tunnel seems longer than I can comprehend.
Pragmatism would be my answer, that’s why i’m doing it. But maybe it’s for other reasons, maybe i’m trying to scare her away. Maybe I just want to love for a while. The connections within my life are tight. Compressed by my intense relationships that are formed and my obsession for perfection means that many a casualty are left in my wake.
I don’t want to get it wrong, but I ‘am’ being pragmatic. I would do the same for others and not think twice about it. Why is this occassion any different.
The answers to that are always clear. A test… that’s what it is .. a test… Can I do it, am I made of the right stuff or do I falter again and return to my comfort zone. My independence levels are strong, and my ability to keep people distanced remains everpresent in my mind. Maybe this is one more step to breaking down those barriers in the only way I know.
Maybe I just don’t know.
Uncategorized