Ok I’ve recently come to the conclusion that girls don’t get boys and boys don’t get girls. Of course deep down I always knew this but recently I’ve noticed among my girl and guy friends that confusion, bewilderment and straight up what-the-fuck is the most common themes in boy-girl understanding. Here’s a following list of things that I will never understand:
* How boys can switch their emotions off so easily. This may seem like a sweeping generalisation, especially considering Adams friends who all seem to be uncommonly in touch with their feminine side.
e.g. A friend of mine, of the boy variety, recently ended a 3 year relationship with his girlfriend who he also lived with. 2 months later he has not only moved in with the boys and is living it up, but he’s also in another relationship and has already met the new girls parents. All the while his ex is still looking at a reconciliation and emotionally grieving.
* Boys and their toys. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless( Adam) refuses to catch cabs because of the unnecessary expense, yet will fork out $80 odd dollars each week on a jet ski. Be it WRX’s, Palm Piloty thingys or Playstations/Xboxes, my theory is boys never grow up. Personally this theory has never proved me wrong.
* Pet names for penises. I’m sorry but I really don’t get this, you don’t see me having names for my breasts and I don’t understand how it’s cool or manly or mature to be calling it the Sword of Pleasure. (Yes Joe that was aimed at you)
* This one is not for me, it’s on the behalf of a girl I was speaking to today who was complaining that after sex all her boyfriend does is roll over and go to sleep. Since I’m a big fan of the sex followed by rolling over, spooning, sleeping, this question is on her behalf, what’s up with that?
* Now just because a girl has breasts doesn’t mean that non eye contact while talking with her is cool. I can kinda understand if you’re out and she’s wearing a top where she falls out every now and then, but if I’m at work and your my superior, chin up please boys.
* Once again disregarding Adam and the boys, how boys can be good friends with another guy yet never have a conversation longer than 5 minutes that doesn’t involve, beer, chicks and sport. What do you actually talk about?
* Hanging onto the t-shirt you first got lucky in, the hat you got (insert favourite sporting guy) to autograph, I completely understand that. But wearing said ratty t-shirt/hat in public? Piece of advice, if you ever want to get laid again, leave the offending article of clothing at home or for drinking with the boys
* Fascination with video games, don’t get it. I can’t play anything that’s 3D, fucks with my head too much. I am completely addicted to my Super Nintendo and my Super Mario Brothers game but that’s it. So any game or playing system newer than 1990 is beyond my grasp, damned kids of today
* How boys are generally so simple and uncomplicated, this isn’t a query exactly, it’s more along the lines of jealousy. I wanna be unemotional and laidback, yet girls are consigned the hysterical emotional role. Also unfortunate that it’s true the majority of the time.
And the most baffling thing I’ll never understand;
* The consta t rearranging of yourself. Personally unless your suffering from a bad case of leprosy the odds of your boys falling off at some point during the day is quite low. So when I’m having a conversation with males at work about some business-related topic, it can be a little disconcerting for him to be constantly copping a cheap feel, on himself. Can anyone enlighten me on this?
If anyone can explain any of these I would be one less confused girl, send any useful information to Adam .
Speaking of gross generalisations, I better get back to filing my nails, preparing a 3 course dinner for my husband and getting his pipe and slippers ready for when he gets home from a hard day at the office.
