Still not getting it right….
Do you know when someone asks something of you, and you just know that you’re not capable of it….. I’m in that situation today folks…..
I so desperately want to say “I won’t do x again”, but it’s like saying “I won’t get hit by a bus tomorrow” or “I won’t let you get hit by a bus tomorrow”… you can be honest and sincere, but it’s just simply not true, and it could quite possibly damage an amazing relationship…..
Maybe this person is right, maybe I need to stop associating with people who treat me like shit/continue to hurt me/don’t really like me but like the way I make them feel sometimes. Maybe i’m still not getting it right….
At this point in time i’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and i’m scared shitless that the answer is going to be to detriment of all parties involved, and that’s the last thing that I want.
I, fundamentally, try to think good of people, even when they do really shitty things to me or to others. And I think the reason why is because *I* have done some unforgivable things, but people have managed to forgive me. I’m guessing it comes back to the penance thing (though I have no religious ties whatsoever), that because of my past failures I should be forgiving of those who are not perfect.
I fear this is not going to turn out for the best, and the only way out is to tell a direct lie to provide reassurance.
Any ideas/comments e-mail me.
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