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Well i thought i might post on this since matt seems to think i might offend the female population

How boys can switch their emotions off so easily?

Well this is an easy one, we switch off to survive believe it or not guys do feel, but we are expected just to sort our crap out and get on with the job at hand. And frankly the best way to o this is take the focus away from the heart and back to the groin thats right ladies and gents best way to get over a relationship to the get your fuck on with someone new. (Got dumped by my fiance after 6 years, was depressed for a whole month until i got my fuck on, and praise the lord i was Born again)
Boys and their toys

Hey i wont preach on this im the worst for this sort of thing but as the boys have said its similiar as to why girls buy things, we like shiney new toys to !!

Pet names for penises

Hmm never done this, ive joked about it “Have you met my mate Stanley” ” Stanley” “Like the power Drill” !! ;)….if you dont know the quote your missing out on a sad part of the 80’s

This one is not for me, it’s on the behalf of a girl I was speaking to today who was complaining that after sex all her boyfriend does is roll over and go to sleep

Hmm speaking for myself here, but i dont fall asleep generally im bouncing off the walls and its the girl begging me to let her sleep cause shes all shagged out. egh what can you do you ask… let em sleep for an hour while you stand on the balcony butt naked drinking a beer then come back and wake em up with a little oral lovin

Now just because a girl has breasts doesn’t mean that non eye contact while talking with her is cool

They have a magnetic quality about them, but then so does just about any part of a girls bod. Cant stop looking but try and make it a little less obvious
Once again disregarding Adam and the boys, how boys can be good friends with another guy yet never have a conversation longer than 5 minutes that doesn’t involve, beer, chicks and sport. What do you actually talk about

Same as matt here i never forget those that have wronged me, i still remember every single bastard that owes me money and if i ever see them well it aint going to be pretty…..

Hanging onto the t-shirt you first got lucky in, the hat you got (insert favourite sporting guy) to autograph, I completely understand that. But wearing said ratty t-shirt/hat in public? Piece of advice, if you ever want to get laid again, leave the offending article of clothing at home or for drinking with the boys

I actually have one of these shirts well not the one i first got laid in, but the shirt has some serious mojo attached to it, it just happens to attract married women. hmmm im working on changing this
Fascination with video games

Easy answer males are competive in everything we do, if we cant beat another living human then a computer will have to do

The constant rearranging of yourself

If it dangles it will get in the way, its a law of nature.

Still on shoes

The female equivilant of boys and toys. Most women live by the motto, “She who dies with the most shoes WINS!!!”

Women who have never had an orgasm
Well i have a friend who refuses to let herself have an orgasm as she thinks it would intail giving to much of herself to someone else…..Me i say have as many as you can its not like your going to run out
Well there it is, My take on the world at large

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I’m hungover, i’m probably still intoxicated, i’m annoyed and i’ve gone from hero to zero in less than 10 days.

Hey, maybe that should the title of a great movie… hmmmm…

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One looks at the other and says, ‘Dam’

My god this could make for a large post, lots to catch up on and reply to these two I’m assuming you’ve read all the previous posts, because I’m only pasting in the first line or two of the ones I’m replying to… and off we go..

How boys can switch their emotions off so easily?

Sometimes its very easy to be cold and emotionless. I’m pretty good at it when I wish to/or have to be. Other times though its not as easy. Using that example of yours Eve, the guy in question may have been questioning whether or not the relation was worth continuing for quite some time. The relationship may not have been working for him but he was just using it to be comfortable until he found someone better. Yes that is pretty cold but it may be close to the truth. That or I’m just full of shit and its all good.

Boys and their toys

Adams anti-cab thing aside, tight bastard that he is, I have to agree with you Eve. In some ways boys will never grow up. There is usually something inside each one of us that needs to have new things to play with. Be they toys or otherwise hehe

Pet names for penises

Don’t have one. And I’ve been called weird for not naming it. Beats me, I don’t see the point.

This one is not for me, it’s on the behalf of a girl I was speaking to today who was complaining that after sex all her boyfriend does is roll over and go to sleep

The man should be shot. He gives us a bad name.

Now just because a girl has breasts doesn’t mean that non eye contact while talking with her is cool

Sorry.. what was that, I was kinda distracted for a sec. Ummm, sometimes it happens and other times no. I try to maintain eye contact when possible, but damn, its hard to manage it at times. Not to say I’m a leering fool, I just try not to as much as possible. 99% of the time my eyes are where they should b , its just the other 1% is when I get caught out not having them where they should be that is the problem.

Once again disregarding Adam and the boys, how boys can be good friends with another guy yet never have a conversation longer than 5 minutes that doesn’t involve, beer, chicks and sport. What do you actually talk about?

Hey Adam, the other night when we were drinking beer and watching the union match, did you happen to see that girl that was in the crowd, you know the one I’m talking about… Back to the question, No. Actually sometimes we can, but usually we get bored and turn back to one of those topics.

Hanging onto the t-shirt you first got lucky in, the hat you got (insert favourite sporting guy) to autograph, I completely understand that. But wearing said ratty t-shirt/hat in public? Piece of advice, if you ever want to get laid again, leave the offending article of clothing at home or for drinking with the boys

Can’t say I do that. So couldn’t really comment on it. Though I know guys that do do it, and I still don’t see the point. Its not like the shirt has now been infused with some power that oozes ‘get your fuck on’ pheromones or anything, its a shirt, you washed it, if there was any chance that those pheromones actually existed, they are gone now, get over it.

Fascination with video games

I may be the wrong person to comment on this. My opinion would be too biased. I play many video games
The constant rearranging of yourself

I try not to do it in public, but if I have to I have to, I don’t apologise for it. Maybe you have to have a penis to understand.

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In response

# How you can be nice to a girls face, but then months later shit all over her by fucking her boyfriend… upon asking why you completed this act of terrorism, i’m informed “because that dirty bitch spilled a drink on me when we were at x club 6 months ago” ….. (yes, i’ve really heard that quote) - What the!?!?!?

Ok these girls are the lowest form of scum. These are the same girls that fake pregnancies to keep their boyfr ends, sleep with their friends boys just because they can, cheat on their boyfriends and mind fuck people just for the hell of it. I don’t like these girls and they give normal decent girls a really bad whore of a name.

btw - I think it might be just the town you live in A.

# Shoes!?!?! - I’ve got 3 pairs of shoes, and even that’s getting out of control. You have shoes that I can’t even pronounce, and you’d gladly sell you soul, your first-born and your husband all for the latest designer snake-skin pumps that are all the rage….

Ok I have no defence for this, touche. But only if they were Hermes or Prada - I do have standards.

# Still on shoes (sortoff) …. You: Fab dress, fab hair, fab shoes, fab everything …. Us: Comfy shoes, comfy clothes, comfortable….. Setting: Party, restaurant, night club, anywhere…..

5:00pm: You: You look *awful* in that, get changed, I’m not going out with you looking like that!
5:30pm: You: I’m just going to change into something more “moody” …..

9:00pm (2 hours late): You: “Sorry we’re late, but Adam, stupid fool that he is couldn’t find the way here!”
Us: (seething) ….. but honey, weren’t you going through the *entire fucking wardrobe!* before you finally decided on the first dress of the night…..

9:01pm: Us: single (kidding)

9:05pm: You: My feet hurt, and everyone’s looking at me in this short top where my tits are all the way out!
Us: “Hey, Matt!, *phew*, thank fuck, the missus started whinging
Matt: *nod* *nod*

9:06pm: You: “Oh my god, we’re so leaving!”
Us: “heh??”
You: “She’s wearing the same dress as me!”
Us: “so?”
You: *slap!*

You’re getting the picture here…..

I can only speak on my behalf, but I can honestly say I don’t do that. This girl sounds like a high maintenance pain in the arse

Also unfortunately girls are expected to dress up when we go out. While it’s perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear jeans and a t/shirt out to any of the above named places it’s not for girls.
Also if we went out looking like crap, guess who’d be the first one to complain?

# Amount of times in a day you can love/hate/be indifferent about your “best” friend: 1,279 - What’s with that! .. they’re you’re best friend.. why don’t you just do what males do and not talk to each other for 14 months, forget what you were pissed about in the first place and get over it!

Ah but whereas it takes a boy 14 months to get over something, girls generally get over stuff much quicker. So we get pissed at them for an hour or so, speak to them, tell them we’re pissed off, they apologise, we get over it. Much easier. It’s just how girl friendships work.

# Women who have never had an orgasm! … That’s just fucked up… I mean seriously. It’s your body, it has parts that allow you to experience pleasure, without assistance from a man. How the *fuck* do you expect me to know how to bring you to raging orgasm when you’ve never had one! ….. Give us a little bit of credit…

Stupid uptight girls. I have no comeback for this, in fact I tend to agree with Adam, girls go sex toy shopping with Adam, it’s the only way.

# “yes, yes yes yes yes, now now now now now now! ….. No wait!! .. Noooooooooooooo” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Just because you’re lag time is 2.5 minutes doesn’t mean ours is, learn to love it. Unless of course you’re not doing anything for us and we faked that
- You’re sitting down, so we can’t stare at the other parts of your body we’d like to without it looking totally ridiculous.

Try a little harder, if I walked around only looking at a guys packages I wonder what the reaction would be.

# And by far the most heinous of all female crimes…… Sleeping/Dating/Marrying cruel, dumb fuck, mindless, wankers/assholes/inbreds…..
Why do women date guys who are going to: ignore them, treat them like shit, spend all their time with their mates, expect them to clean up after them …. the list goes on and on and on… And women actively tell me on a regular basis that they like a “bit of a bad boy” ….

I can’t explain the nice guys finish last phenomenon, it’s not something that we’re particularly proud of or that makes any sense whatsoever. If it makes you feel any better the bad boys end up alone or unhappily married to the whores from the first point and the nice guys usually win in the end after the girl finally gets bored with the fuckwits.] and comes to her senses.

Plus nice guys are kinda grating, especially the ones who are so attentive you want to scream and let you get away with murder. There’s a very fine line between being nice and being a doormat.

I also can’t explain the bad boy thing, at all. There’s just something about them that makes up for all the emotional torment, the nights spent at home waiting for a call, the missed birthdays and events, the unreliability. But it wears off very, very quickly and then we realise that the nice boys are actually the best thing in the world.

I’ve told women, to their face, that i’m not interested in them… nada, zip, bubkiss… get outta here!, for them to then follow me around for the rest of the night buying me drinks! ….

Maybe it’s just because you’re shithot, or it could be the country town you live in where the girls are kinda scary.

- Haven’t you been reading this page for the last month? * Me, uncomplicated…. fuck no…
* Wonton, damm, that boys heading down adam-alley at a blazing pace while I head towards normalcy.
* Matt, his mates are here for him, but he’s got all his own shit that he’s dealing with…
You’re asking the wrong crew i’s be thinki’……

Yeah but we all know that you guys aren’t a typical bunch of boys, the best looking? yes but the most normal, hell no

I think maybe we’ll just have to let it be that we’ll never understand each other, I think I actually prefer it that way.

ps. Adam your spellcheck blows, it didn’t have arse, wanker, fuckwit or Hermes.

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All the responses you were ever looking for will be revealed below.
note: this is only my perspective, I actively encourage matt and wonton to give their perspectives….

* How boys can switch their emotions off so easily. This may seem like a sweeping generalisation, especially considering Adams friends who all seem to be uncommonly in touch with their feminine side.
e.g. A friend of mine, of the boy variety, recently ended a 3 year relationship with his girlfriend who he also lived with. 2 months later he has not only moved in with the boys and is living it up, but he’s also in another relationship and has already met the new girls parents. All the while his ex is still looking at a reconciliation and emotionally grieving.

To rationalise this one, it’s all down to males being goal-orientated. It’s the same reason we are most aggressive when playing sports, arguing of who’s legs are better, and which beer is the finest drop.
(Of course the answers are: Action sports are the only sports to be playing, Cameron Diaz and Carlton Cold/Coronas/Crown Lagers [depending on your price range for the evening])

If we realise something isn’t succeeding then the following rules apply:

- There’s only one good way to end one relationship, that’s by starting up another and getting you some fine new action going down.
- If at first you don’t succeed, find a lesser opponent and then beat them to a pulp

* Boys and their toys. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless( Adam) refuses to catch cabs because of the unnecessary expense, yet will fork out $80 odd dollars each week on a jet ski. Be it WRX’s, Palm Piloty thingys or Playstations/Xboxes, my theory is boys never grow up. Personally this theory has never proved me wrong.

- Cabs are just wrong. Bastards. They’re all just ripoff merchants when i’ve had way too much to drink.
- It’s the female equi alent of clothes, makeup, girlie-drinks, shoes and Ikea accessories that we “just have to get!”…..
- Most of them get the blood pumping (ie jetski’s and wrx’s), the rest just make us feel considerably more important than we really are.

* Pet names for penises. I’m sorry but I really don’t get this, you don’t see me having names for my breasts and I don’t understand how it’s cool or manly or mature to be calling it the Sword of Pleasure. (Yes Joe that was aimed at you)

- I’m going to hell for agreeing with you on this one, but I really don’t get it… not one bit…..

- Though seriously you do talk about “the girls” quite a bit, and i’ve never called him “the boy” (or any other male variation)

* This one is not for me, it’s on the behalf of a girl I was speaking to today who was complaining that after sex all her boyfriend does is roll over and go to sleep. Since I’m a big fan of the sex followed by rolling over, spooning, sleeping, this question is on her behalf, what’s up with that?

- To take the medical defence, it’s just the way our bodies work (i’m not explaining, but trust me, after orgasm all our endorphins wind down and that means crash time for us baybee!….) … btw, you only have to keep him awake for about 10 minutes and he’ll be ok. Body will stabilise and then you can keep him awake (unnecessarily) and discuss the finer points of the relationship “Why aren’t you good enough for me, and why don’t I orgasm every time we have sex…” *shudder*

- Non-medical defence: Because after we’re done, we’re done. What more could you want than to get your fuck on, to then be able to curl up and do the sleep thing. I mean if we’re on our own, we do it when we’re bored (we can think of almost any reason to do it), so why would we be any different when there’s a woman attached to the end of us?

* Now just because a girl has breasts doesn’t mean that non eye contact while talking with her is cool. I can kinda understand if you’re out and she’s wearing a top where she falls out every now and then, but if I’m at work and your my superior, chin up please boys.

- Now honey, you know my affliction for “the girls”, and I can’t really offer anymore than that. They’re hypnotic….
One of the few things in life that men don’t have, and that’s probably most of the reason that we want them.
It’s like you stole our property at puberty, and we want them back…

- You’re sitting down, so we can’t stare at the other parts of your body we’d like to without it looking totally ridiculous.

* Once again disregarding Adam and the boys, how boys can be good friends with another guy yet never have a conversation longer than 5 minutes that doesn’t involve, beer, chicks and sport. What do you actually talk about?

Because, sadly, most men have limited brain capacity.

* Hanging onto the t-shirt you first got lucky in, the hat you got (insert favourite sporting guy) to autograph, I completely understand that. But wearing said ratty t-shirt/hat in public? Piece of advice, if you ever want to get laid again, leave the offending article of clothing at home or for drinking with the boys.

- Because other men understand that there must be something ’special’ about that cap/shirt/grundgy underwear that makes people want to puke within a 26 foot radius of your ass.

- ummm, hate to tell you, but those boys get laid “all the time!”…..

* Fascination with video games, don’t get it. I can’t play anything that’s 3D, fucks with my head too much. I am completely addicted to my Super Nintendo and my Super Mario Brothers game but that’s it. So any game or playing system newer than 1990 is beyond my grasp, damned kids of today

- Another extension of the “goal-orientated” mentality. It’s fast moving, it’s process-based and it’s goal-orientated. All the things that the average man wants in his life.

* How boys are generally so simple and uncomplicated, this isn’t a query exactly, it’s more along the lines of jealousy. I wanna be unemotional and laidback, yet girls are consigned the hysterical emotional role. Also unfortunate that it’s true the majority of the time.

- Haven’t you been reading this page for the last month? * Me, uncomplicated…. fuck no…
* Wonton, damm, that boys heading down adam-alley at a blazing pace while I head towards normalcy.
* Matt, his mates are here for him, but he’s got all his own shit that he’s dealing with…
You’re asking the wrong crew i’s be thinki’……

And the most baffling thing I’ll never understand;

* The constant rearranging of yourself. Personally unless your suffering from a bad case of leprosy the odds of your boys falling off at some point during the day is quite low. So when I’m having a conversation with males at work about some business-related topic, it can be a little disconcerting for him to be constantly copping a cheap feel, on himself. Can anyone enlighten me on this?

- Yeah, we could, but that would just ruin the suspense for you …

What I don’t get about women

# How you can be nice to a girls face, but then months later shit all over her by fucking her boyfriend… upon asking why you completed this act of terrorism, i’m informed “because that dirty bitch spilled a drink on me when we were at x club 6 months ago” ….. (yes, i’ve really heard that quote) - What the!?!?!?

# Shoes!?!?! - I’ve got 3 pairs of shoes, and even that’s getting out of control. You have shoes that I can’t even pronounce, and you’d gladly sell you soul, your first-born and your husband all for the latest designer snake-skin pumps that are all the rage….

# Still on shoes (sortoff) …. You: Fab dress, fab hair, fab shoes, fab everything …. Us: Comfy shoes, comfy clothes, comfortable….. Setting: Party, restaurant, night club, anywhere…..

5:00pm: You: You look *awful* in that, get changed, I’m not going out with you looking like that!
5:30pm: You: I’m just going to change into something more “dressy” …..

9:00pm (2 hours late): You: “Sorry we’re late, but Adam, stupid fool that he is couldn’t find the way here!”
Us: (seething) ….. but honey, weren’t you going through the *entire fucking wardrobe!* before you finally decided on the first you picked…..

9:05pm: You: My feet hurt, and everyone’s looking at me in this short top where my tits are all the way out!
Us: “Hey, Matt!, *phew*, thank fuck, the missus started whinging
Matt: *nod* *nod*

9:06pm: You: “Oh my god, we’re so leaving!”
Us: “heh??”
You: “She’s wearing the same dress as me!”
Us: “so?”
You: *slap!*

You’re getting the picture here…..

# Amount of times in a day you can love/hate/be indifferent about your “best” friend: 1,279 -
* What’s with that! .. They’re you’re best friend.. why don’t you just do what males do and not talk to each other for a couple of weeks, forget what you were pissed about in the first place and get over it!

# Women who have never had an orgasm! …
* That’s just fucked up… I mean seriously. It’s your body, it has parts that allow you to experience pleasure, without assistance from a man.
How the *fuck* do you expect me to know how to bring you to raging orgasm when you’ve never had one! ….. Give us a little bit of credit…

# “yes, yes yes yes yes, now now now now now now! ….. No wait!! .. Noooooooooooooo”
* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! - That one *really* irks me! …. We’re out there, we’re trying and this is what we get!!

# Alternative, “But i’ve had an 5 orgasms, why won’t/can’t you have one with me….”
* We can’t win!!! …. Word for the wise… it’s fucking *hard* to get it perfectly timed, and we’re the responsible party for two peoples pleasure..
Putting stress on us…… no, of course not!

# And by far the most heinous of all female crimes…… Sleeping/Dating/Marrying cruel, dumb fuck, mindless, wankers/assholes/inbreds…..
Why do women date guys who are going to: ignore them, treat them lik shit, spend all their time with their mates, expect them to clean up after them …. the list goes on and on and on… And women actively tell me on a regular basis that they like a “bit of a bad boy” ….

I’ve told women, to their face, that i’m not interested in them… nada, zip, bubkiss… get outta here!, for them to then follow me around for the rest of the night buying me drinks! ….

Then, we meet a nice, intelligent, attractive female that we are interested in, and they end up going home with the guy wearing the shirt he first got laid in, remembering not to take off his cap signed by Shane Warne mid-ciggie at the local strip joint….

Though all is fair in love and war as they say….

A

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Ok I’ve recently come to the conclusion that girls don’t get boys and boys don’t get girls. Of course deep down I always knew this but recently I’ve noticed among my girl and guy friends that confusion, bewilderment and straight up what-the-fuck is the most common themes in boy-girl understanding. Here’s a following list of things that I will never understand:

* How boys can switch their emotions off so easily. This may seem like a sweeping generalisation, especially considering Adams friends who all seem to be uncommonly in touch with their feminine side.
e.g. A friend of mine, of the boy variety, recently ended a 3 year relationship with his girlfriend who he also lived with. 2 months later he has not only moved in with the boys and is living it up, but he’s also in another relationship and has already met the new girls parents. All the while his ex is still looking at a reconciliation and emotionally grieving.

* Boys and their toys. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless( Adam) refuses to catch cabs because of the unnecessary expense, yet will fork out $80 odd dollars each week on a jet ski. Be it WRX’s, Palm Piloty thingys or Playstations/Xboxes, my theory is boys never grow up. Personally this theory has never proved me wrong.

* Pet names for penises. I’m sorry but I really don’t get this, you don’t see me having names for my breasts and I don’t understand how it’s cool or manly or mature to be calling it the Sword of Pleasure. (Yes Joe that was aimed at you)

* This one is not for me, it’s on the behalf of a girl I was speaking to today who was complaining that after sex all her boyfriend does is roll over and go to sleep. Since I’m a big fan of the sex followed by rolling over, spooning, sleeping, this question is on her behalf, what’s up with that?

* Now just because a girl has breasts doesn’t mean that non eye contact while talking with her is cool. I can kinda understand if you’re out and she’s wearing a top where she falls out every now and then, but if I’m at work and your my superior, chin up please boys.

* Once again disregarding Adam and the boys, how boys can be good friends with another guy yet never have a conversation longer than 5 minutes that doesn’t involve, beer, chicks and sport. What do you actually talk about?

* Hanging onto the t-shirt you first got lucky in, the hat you got (insert favourite sporting guy) to autograph, I completely understand that. But wearing said ratty t-shirt/hat in public? Piece of advice, if you ever want to get laid again, leave the offending article of clothing at home or for drinking with the boys

* Fascination with video games, don’t get it. I can’t play anything that’s 3D, fucks with my head too much. I am completely addicted to my Super Nintendo and my Super Mario Brothers game but that’s it. So any game or playing system newer than 1990 is beyond my grasp, damned kids of today

* How boys are generally so simple and uncomplicated, this isn’t a query exactly, it’s more along the lines of jealousy. I wanna be unemotional and laidback, yet girls are consigned the hysterical emotional role. Also unfortunate that it’s true the majority of the time.

And the most baffling thing I’ll never understand;

* The consta t rearranging of yourself. Personally unless your suffering from a bad case of leprosy the odds of your boys falling off at some point during the day is quite low. So when I’m having a conversation with males at work about some business-related topic, it can be a little disconcerting for him to be constantly copping a cheap feel, on himself. Can anyone enlighten me on this?

If anyone can explain any of these I would be one less confused girl, send any useful information to Adam .

Speaking of gross generalisations, I better get back to filing my nails, preparing a 3 course dinner for my husband and getting his pipe and slippers ready for when he gets home from a hard day at the office.

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NEWS.com.au | Germans fall for porno karaoke (October 22, 2003)

Take from this what you will…

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First off….. head here and witness pure stupidity in it’s finest form.

This has got to come a close second (and don’t expect any sympathy from me!)

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# I have no plans for new years # I need to make plans for new years
# I wanted to spend new years in Sydney/Melbourne this year, but I don’t think it’s going to come to pass
# Diaryland is down, so I don’t get to read a lot of my favourite blogs
# I’m jealous that the work-kids had a great time without me last weekend
# I, however, also had a great time last weekend # Jason (gay-fag that he is!) has put the idea into my head that “cute english backpacker” actually likes me….. this is not good ….
# Seeing Kill Bill again on Thursday with the work kids
# I hate when my car breaks down
# I’m officially dieting
# I hate dieting….
# Why do birds, suddenly appear?
# Why is the world suddenly in the middle of a quasi-80’s revival
# Why am I the only one to have noticed this?
# What the F*** is with Wonton, that dude’s starting to sound like me….
# If you burp and fart at the same time, do you really die?

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Last updated: 27/10/03 - 15:00

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