schmuck or saint?
Ask me today and you’ll get one reason, ask me tomorrow and it will be a completely different answer. It’s a tough question for the simply reason that Adam inspires an intense reaction from people. He either gets under your skin and you don’t mind and you’re comfortable with that, or he gets under your skin and irritates the crap out of you. I’m a member of the former group, I hink.
I met Adam through work, he was setting up a new site for our company in some godforsaken little town. With Sydney being the epicentre of the IT network for our company he called through a lot. He was funny,charming, engaging and easygoing and the friendship was sealed after I was ranting about something or other and finished it with I mean really, he instantly replied with who throws a shoe. It went from an e-mail a day to what it is now which is hours of conversations a day.
He’s an intense little fucker and it can be a serious shock to meet someone quite like him.
I find it hard to even put a definition onto what we have, I could call him a friend, a close friend, one of my best friends (yes you can have more than one honey) or just the boy I have a weird thing with which I can’t describe. I think I’ll stick with the last option. The others don’t seem to encompass what you can share with him.
Unfortunately I’ve known Adam through the recent shit that he’s been going through, there’s been more than once where I’ve felt like saying to him, honey I’m tired and I don’t want to have to deal with all of this anymore. To do would not only hurt him but would probably break my heart. I’m looking forward to knowing the happy and carefree Adam, if he exists of course. I know that I barely know him in some respects and I look forward to him coming down to Sydney and just hanging out with him and getting to know him on a completely relaxed level, that’s what has gotten me through some of the more shitty times.
He has an ability to in one sense completely know, trust and understand someone and to this day I don’t know how he does it. He is wary yet still thinks the very best of someone.
Yet in another sense he wants to completely know and trust someone that when that person turns out to be less than honorable his hurt and bewilderment is quite painful to see. He doesn’t think he does but he’s very open and honest and tends to wear his heart on his sleeve. People have taken advantage of him for these reasons and I’d better not get started on those people for the simple fa t it’s much too early to be swearing like a bastard.
He falls in love easily, quickly and with his all, this gets him into trouble a lot. He tends to dive in head first with no prior thought to the consequences, but when he does he would do anything for that girl. He will however lose interest after a year and break your heart, but they’re his commitment issues and that’s a whole other world of pain. But I will say I am glad that I’m just his friend, it’s a lot less complicated that way.
Adam seems to have figured me out way before I did with him. He knows me and has seen me at my not very best and still likes me. I tell and have told him things that I haven’t told my best friends. That’s kinda scary and makes me vulnerable to him, I’ll continue to do that though because I trust him, I trust him more than I thought was possible. He sees my faults and flaws as integral to what makes me me and it always astounds me that he still wants to hang around. Although he does tell me I have issues every single day, also that I scare him, I can live with that.
I’ve never met a more intense, charming, complicated and exhausting person, it’s a pleasure to know Adam, well except for a few weeks back when I yelled at him,told him I hated him, didn’t want to be his friend anymore and called him the c-word, Which he can be, god love him. I can say though, at the time I meant it and he deserved it. It can be tiring and exhausting having him in your life, he has many more issues than I do and tends to over-analyze and think about things to the extent that you just want to say for fucks sake Adam just do it or don’t do it, just make a freaking decision. He can also complicate a simple friendship on so many levels it’s amazing.
Yet I still talk to him, care for him, love him and worry about him and I will continue to do that until the day i die. He is intensely loyal, he’s understanding to the point of being a saint, he is one of the funniest bastards I know, he gets and understands me to the point of being creepy and I know I’ll know him when we’re old and grey, if I don’t kill him first that is.
Love your work
Eve
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