editors note: This was written on the flight home, it lacks any kind of decent proofreading – you have been warned
Yesterday I interviewed with a major international company – one that if I shared the name it would be instantly recognizable and you would probably name the CEO without a seconds thought.
Yes, that kind of company.
Interview day involved in an interstate flight followed by 6 hours of gruelling meetings where the pace and questions were perfectly structured to take as much out of you as and had you on your toes the entire time.
Before I lose sight of this I’m going to give you my commentary about how I think the role went – later on I will add a postscript as to if I got the job or not.
Because right now I’m not feeling particularly great bout the experience and I would say I’m 75-80% chance that I did not get the role….. And seriously for someone with anxiety issues and high stress levels in a new country and trying to find their feet and to have nothing to give them a sense of identity
That’s tough, really tough……
So now I’m writing to myself, and possibly even to you to share just how much it knocks you around when you lose you go for something but you just run short.
But before we get into that, let’s talk a little about things that you don’t want to hear in an interview
[If it’s in square parentheses it’s my thoughts and internal feedback on the matter]
“I suppose we’ll just have to agree to disagree about that statement [yes, while fundamentally I agree with you that this role should not be accountable for this particular outcome, our business decided to do things differently and ultimately make me accountable – I know what I said and I know how a RACI model works, even if we fucked with it!]” – This on your last and most important interview of the day
“Great! I actually build and support the payroll system [of which I know enough about to be dangerous but not enough to have any kind of in depth working knowledge] – so let’s get down into the details!”
“Well, I’m scanning through your résumé, but the only thing I can see here that’s even close to the job you’re doing would be this short stint you did several years back [That same job I could do with your eyes closed and one arm tied around your back, but hey let’s definitely talk about that junior role!]”
Those are the ones I can remember – I’m sure there are others [haha] but also writing these down makes me realise they weren’t all that bad and that even if I don’t get the job, the sky is not actually falling down … well not now.
Today is just a day when i’m growing – and growing is really hard to do.
Jump to now and I’m on a plane sitting next to another person who works for Amazon – she interviewed and found out about her job (obviously she got it) the very.next.morning – my recruiter told me that they like to get back to me within a week but due to how busy everyone is it could just be longer.
For a personality type like me – I just want to be put out of my misery – really, really just want to be put out of my misery so I can just drink a bottle of wine (or three) one night, maybe sink into my own vapid sense of self depression before getting appropriately angry at myself and then start using that as motivation to start getting my shit together and start getting action and getting my sorry behind into a job that fits in with my style and ability
(side note: wow, if I get this job I’m going to sound like a complete tosser aren’t I haha)
To add to that I’m also interviewing for another job [yes, I realise that I’ve been trying to find a job for all of two weeks and I’m at final interview stage with two employers, don’t laugh at my self-imposed depressed state!] but because of the travel and energy that it would suck out of me I really don’t want it.
I want a job where I can see my wife and one day see my children on a regular basis – I don’t want to be at airports and travelling my behind off every.single.fucking.week.
So next week I go back to square one, I go back to dealing with recruiters(1) and plugging through dozens of recruitment sites and trying not to look too hard at our budget file which is showing an increasing trend of us spending more money than we earn – and not trying to come off to my wife that we just can’t everything that we want (aside, we missed the rolling stones concert last week because we were moving, so that famous line from them is double depressing haha!)
And by the time I next write here on my blog I promise I’m going to be more upbeat, less of a whiner and overall a better human being – because while I’m sitting here complaining about it – going through this particular recruitment process has made me a better human being.
And when it comes down to it, if I talk constantly about wanting to be a better person, it means you’re going to have to suffer and fail on your journey to being who you really want to be….
(1) Not my favourite people in the world