This is both a letter to my wife and my final blog post …
Isn’t it strange how the passing of time changes people and gives them opportunity to reflect on both who they have become, where they want to be and (for me as i’m sure with others) the mistakes they have made.
That has been the purpose of this blog for the last number of years.
I have made many mistakes in my life, and all of these I reflect back on now I realise that they *are* the journey, and for many parts that journey has been covered within these pages, albeit with enough of a cloak that only those who know me personally would understand everything i’m writing about.
Importantly, all of my mistakes and mishaps have led me to here, let me to this moment, lead me to you.
THey have lead me to the day when I write this to you, and to the people reading this blog, to share with them both of the new direction my life is taking and how this will be my last public post. It has brought me to this time and space in 2009 when I finally, truly realise that I can be happy, want to be happy and importantly have the capacity to be happy.
It has bought me to you.
And therefore, after a long time of not posting here I am starting to realise why. I don’t need to write about my life in this forum anymore, and the new forum of my life sits with you my darling girl, and therefore as much as I will miss this, I realise that it’s not the place I need to be writing anymore.
Does that make me sad (to a degree), absolutely.
I am moving on from a part of my life that has been a part of my life for so long I can’t remember not having it. This blog was started so many years ago, back when I was at my first IT job, back when I was filled with hope and promise and I gingerly tried to find my place in the world.
And look where I am now.
My darling girl, you are big part of that journey. For helping me to see the beauty in people, for teasing out my cynicism and fear and for opening my eyes to the world around me I can never thank you enough. This journey has not been easy for me, I have made mistakes, and I know that I will continue to make more in the future, but I know that you are there for me and I will be there for you, no matter what.
And so today’s post is making me realise what life is all about. It is about joy, it is about happiness and it is about opportune moments to reflect on what’s important ….. and what’s important to me is you.
I am not perfect, I never will be, but i’m getting there …… and so to you, and to all the people who have read here over the past years, for those that have encouraged, challenged, cajoled, hugged, cried and suffered with me, I say thankyou.
You have all been a part of the journey.
So to those of you who have read this blog, I thankyou for sharing the journey with me. You have hopefully had the opportunity to see me start with very little and achieving not a great deal, to growing into becoming a man and making my life.
And to you my darling girl, Merry Christmas, I hope this is the first of many more to come and I can’t wait to see where the journey takes us next.
I love you